Ok, guys and gals, we’re needing your expertise here. First some background. I’m 32, she’s 39 and have been married for almost 5 years. Our marriage is rock solid, and our communication skills have been magnified many times over due to discussing swinging. Neither of us has any complaints and both feel our marriage is strong enough to handle anything that gets thrown at it. We brought a mutual male friend into our relationship a few months back. Mostly it was kissing, rubbing under the table and one hot make-out session ending with him performing oral sex on her while I was standing behind her kissing and rubbing. Some unknown feelings popped up from me a few days later, and due to the stress it was causing on me, we called it quits. We discussed what caused these feelings, and found out they were my insecurities and how to work through them. So, after many, many discussions and reassurances, we decided to give it another shot with him.
We had another hot make out session with the three of us kissing, and then I excused myself while she gave him a blowjob and he performed oral sex on her again. Everything’s fine. We’re planning and hoping to have a motel room this weekend for a full sex threesome, as this is my wife’s fantasy as it is mine. Here’s where the problems are rising.
During the first makeout session, in the beginning, I couldn’t see anything due to the darkness. She thought I could, so she didn’t change anything. That’s when I asked to join them, and then I was fine with everything. I didn't blame her for this because I knew it wasn't her fault because she could see me. So, for the second session, I kept drilling into her head, “I must see everything”. So, needless to say, even though I could see everything the second time and enjoyed it, she was paranoid the entire time that I couldn’t see and really couldn’t get into it. That makes me feel bad.
Also, I’m afraid that if I just sit and watch them having sex, and the guy goes for hours, I’ll feel left out just watching and jacking. We’ve tried searching and reading here for scenarios, etc for MFM, but the only things we can find is doggie-style with one on each end. Not too comfy for a position for long periods. Plus, if we swap, he’ll be wearing a condom, so oral on him won’t taste very good. My wife has no problems whatsoever of me being involved and wants me involved, but we just don’t know how. I want to give them some “alone” time while I watch to just enjoy each other, but I want to be included too. If I’m watching, the only thing I can think of doing is to ask “Can I join in”, but to me, that feels like I’m asking permission to sleep with my wife. Apparently, I’ve started drilling things again with this weekend of me being involved because she’s stressing and not wanting to go through with it because she says she’ll be worrying the whole time if I’m feeling left out.
We’re honestly trying to make this to where nobody has regrets afterwards and enjoys themselves fully during. What can we do? We’re not looking necessarily for just positions, but of how everyone can be involved and how to “get” involved if someone’s watching without just jumping onto the bed or pushing the other person off.
To us, this could be a wonderful, sexy experience if everything goes well. We're not wanting to have this choreographed down to the positions, times, etc, but just have some ideas of what works. We want to just let it flow naturally. Also, she has always looked at sex and between two people, and now with it involving three, she doesn’t want to come out of it feeling like a slut.
KYCpl