[Cold climate]

My husband and I are a mid-forties couple who have begun swinging in the past year, exclusively at a European on-premises club. It was during our recent visit that we progressed to safe ultimate sex with another partner for the first time and it is from this experience that my questin arises.

My first full swap partner 'A', was a very gentle lover who satisfied me during our half hour together, but he did not climax.
The second man of the weekend 'B', was a very energetic guy who pounded away in a variety of positions for quite a while but once again disappointingly was another non- cummer even after I gave him oral (with condom admittedly).

While we were chatting at the bar waiting for our partners to re-appear 'B' told me something which intrigued me.
He said that men who have been swingers for some time generally find it hard to cum, compared to men who have recently joined the scene(my husband DID cum with the other ladies). And that the more experienced guys get off more by watching what is going on around them.

Have men become so 'educated' into thinking that a woman's pleasure is paramount that they neglect their own satisfaction or is it simply that by not cumming they can stay hard all evening and put more notches on the bedpost?

I would be very interested to know other opinions on this subject.