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Originally Posted by northindycpl Yes. I am saying that. I think because there are so few mainstream clubs here, I have noticed (and this is just my experience) that word travels fast. Most regulars at my club, are regular at the others too. It is not uncommon for me to overhear comments made about new members. And it is also two fold- Because it is easy to know who Craig and Sally are, it would be even easier to know what they are doing in that club environment.
It just takes one person to say they saw Craig at XYZ club dancing with another man, to then make Craig the 'watched' one at ABC club.And they will say it. A swingers reputation here, spreads fast in the wrong way if you aren't careful. I have seen it over and over again. Partly, I think it is because everyone plays together at the same places, almost on a schedule, because we don't have many options for good clubs. I haven't been to alternatives yet, so I am not sure about them, But all of the clubs like Reel One, Topside, Sharkeys (Swingers Bar) Layden, Shenangins- they all have the same customers, just different days.
Your mentioning of the bar regulars is pretty accurate too. Everyone is curious about the 'newbie' |
But my question was not one of "is this done?" but instead "WHY is this done?" kind of thing. We have not been to clubs here yet, and now wonder if we want to. I am male and have never danced with a guy -- but think it such a trivial, inconsquental thing to not warrant any merit at all. I mean if an unexplained stereotype is -that- pervasive in this small world, we have to wonder over what others exist. Like if you are black you are tracked? or Asian? Or love feet or something?
And since I have clearly made by issue know via this thread and other public ventures, I must assume we are now on this "blacklist". And now we feel distinctly unwelcome at some places -- and we have never even been there!!!!
Being a 'newbie' in the swinging world is hard enough. You have to overcome very judgemental stereotypes placed on your by society at large, and you seek kindred spirits because you are sometimes feel "not normal" in the general population. It makes clubbing sound a little to be an "insiders clik" not open at all to new folks; and certainly not to new folks who fear not toeing an unknown or unseen line in the sand. And I don't think that is the case.
Wasn't asking IF there are anti-bi folks out there -- that much has been illustrated very well already -- I was asking WHY they are so agressive, so adamant in the dislike of others with different interests, that's all.
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