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JnCC · 02-03-2005, 09:47 AM

There are people who regard marriage almost like a "contract" that comes up for renewal every 5-10 years. Sometimes, things are going well, and the "contract" is silently renewed without changes. Other times, a couple wants to renew the contract, but one or both parties want some changes in it. (My kid's mom wanted me to join her in becoming "Born again," and I wanted her to get her face out of the pie tins and lose 50#, for instance)

If you're lucky, she'll know what changes she wants. If you're really lucky, she'll let you know what changes she wants as well. And if you're really, really lucky, whatever "middle ground" you agree upon is something you can both live with. A good therapist can help you with the answers to all this, or you can ignore the problem, and pay the lawyers later. It's your call...

I wouldn't get anybody else involved (I.E., have an affair) right now. I've been there and done that, and all it does is shift your focus away from what needs to be done to get your marriage back on track. It's like jumping a motorcycle or doing a flip off a high dive...you'll first need to believe you can do it, and then be 100% committed to doing it, for it to have any chance of success.

Yea, 37 is wayyy too young to be locked into a tits-up marriage. Good luck to you...

02-03-2005, 09:47 AM	#6 (permalink)
JnCC Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 817 Location: Mulletsville, USA	Re: Is my swinging life over? There are people who regard marriage almost like a "contract" that comes up for renewal every 5-10 years. Sometimes, things are going well, and the "contract" is silently renewed without changes. Other times, a couple wants to renew the contract, but one or both parties want some changes in it. (My kid's mom wanted me to join her in becoming "Born again," and I wanted her to get her face out of the pie tins and lose 50#, for instance) If you're lucky, she'll know what changes she wants. If you're really lucky, she'll let you know what changes she wants as well. And if you're really, really lucky, whatever "middle ground" you agree upon is something you can both live with. A good therapist can help you with the answers to all this, or you can ignore the problem, and pay the lawyers later. It's your call... I wouldn't get anybody else involved (I.E., have an affair) right now. I've been there and done that, and all it does is shift your focus away from what needs to be done to get your marriage back on track. It's like jumping a motorcycle or doing a flip off a high dive...you'll first need to believe you can do it, and then be 100% committed to doing it, for it to have any chance of success. Yea, 37 is wayyy too young to be locked into a tits-up marriage. Good luck to you...