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LickandPlay · 02-01-2005, 01:44 AM

We are still “newbies” but a few weeks back we received an offer to attend a house party from someone who we had never met. As something like this caught our interest, we exchanged a few emails with the host. I asked the host of the party we were still thinking of attending to list the Swing Lifestyle screen names of the other potential invitees. I gave permission to use our name as well. At the time I asked this, I had a hunch I might be breaching The Swingers Code, but I wasn’t sure if I was, so I asked anyway. It has come to my attention that most here believe I did make an error in judgment by asking this. Before you flame me, have nothing further to do with me and forcibly send me off on a plane to Outer Mongolia, please give me the opportunity to explain why I believe this unwritten rule is unnecessarily frowned upon.

What difference can it make if the host reveals who is invited to a party?

Even if you go to a party not knowing ahead of time who is going to be there, you’re going to meet these people anyway when you get there. If you think dropping names is bad policy, I assume you’ve always had pleasant surprises in these situations.

If you’re concerned about being discreet, why have a profile on Swing Lifestyle that, unless you’ve made yourself invisible, is available for any free member to see any time regardless if your going to a particular party?

If you know who is invited ahead of time, their profile may spark some interest.

Knowing who is invited ahead of time may help in avoiding an awkward situation such as arriving at a party only to find out you are the only straight couple among bi couples. There’s a lot of incompatibility and preferences out there folks, be it age, body type etc.

If you know who is invited you have time to read their profile, accept the invite and decide whether you’d like to play with some of the guests. Or you may decline the offer because you decide it’s the night you usually stay home and delouse the cat.

When most Swing Lifestyle members make initial contact they say something like “We like your profile, check us out too” or “How about meeting over coffee or dinner and see if there’s compatibility”. Yet according to the Code of Conduct, people are expected to just show up at an event and play with whoever else gets invited.

If you know who is invited you can verify if they were invited and whether or not they plan to attend. You can make small talk about what their going to wear or bring to eat etc.and get to know one another a little. If every invitee was shooting emails to everybody else invited, it might build anticipation and there’d be fewer no-shows.

These are a few ideas that popped into my mind about this subject. Please just give me a few good reasons why you believe your profile that can be seen by accident by thousands, yet object to have it read on purpose by a handful of people. Well, I’ve put my Nomex suit on and I’m ready fer ya. Flame away! I only hope that someone in Outer Mongolia is wired to the Internet so I can respond.

02-01-2005, 01:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
LickandPlay Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 11 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:LickandPlay	Name Dropping We are still “newbies” but a few weeks back we received an offer to attend a house party from someone who we had never met. As something like this caught our interest, we exchanged a few emails with the host. I asked the host of the party we were still thinking of attending to list the Swing Lifestyle screen names of the other potential invitees. I gave permission to use our name as well. At the time I asked this, I had a hunch I might be breaching The Swingers Code, but I wasn’t sure if I was, so I asked anyway. It has come to my attention that most here believe I did make an error in judgment by asking this. Before you flame me, have nothing further to do with me and forcibly send me off on a plane to Outer Mongolia, please give me the opportunity to explain why I believe this unwritten rule is unnecessarily frowned upon. What difference can it make if the host reveals who is invited to a party? Even if you go to a party not knowing ahead of time who is going to be there, you’re going to meet these people anyway when you get there. If you think dropping names is bad policy, I assume you’ve always had pleasant surprises in these situations. If you’re concerned about being discreet, why have a profile on Swing Lifestyle that, unless you’ve made yourself invisible, is available for any free member to see any time regardless if your going to a particular party? If you know who is invited ahead of time, their profile may spark some interest. Knowing who is invited ahead of time may help in avoiding an awkward situation such as arriving at a party only to find out you are the only straight couple among bi couples. There’s a lot of incompatibility and preferences out there folks, be it age, body type etc. If you know who is invited you have time to read their profile, accept the invite and decide whether you’d like to play with some of the guests. Or you may decline the offer because you decide it’s the night you usually stay home and delouse the cat. When most Swing Lifestyle members make initial contact they say something like “We like your profile, check us out too” or “How about meeting over coffee or dinner and see if there’s compatibility”. Yet according to the Code of Conduct, people are expected to just show up at an event and play with whoever else gets invited. If you know who is invited you can verify if they were invited and whether or not they plan to attend. You can make small talk about what their going to wear or bring to eat etc.and get to know one another a little. If every invitee was shooting emails to everybody else invited, it might build anticipation and there’d be fewer no-shows. These are a few ideas that popped into my mind about this subject. Please just give me a few good reasons why you believe your profile that can be seen by accident by thousands, yet object to have it read on purpose by a handful of people. Well, I’ve put my Nomex suit on and I’m ready fer ya. Flame away! I only hope that someone in Outer Mongolia is wired to the Internet so I can respond.