"East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet." My vanilla friends and family will never know by my volition. They just wouldn't understand. Hell, five years ago I wouldn't have understood.
My wife is much more open, and has told several of her childhood friends. Which interestingly, some what unnerves me. I suspect I spend too much time trying to be a pillar of the community type
I do NOT want my friends- or her friends for that matter, knowing what I do.
Her friends accept it though, with no problem- hell- the wife has always been a little wild...