[RNDNV]

First and foremost, the most important thing in pursuing the "swinging lifestyle is communication. Lack of communication causes more damage to marriages than anything else, far and away. Your man is a lucky guy. Almost overwhelmingly its the guy who is initiating the lifestyle and the woman is apprehensive at first. In reading your posts two things jump right out. You are finding it difficult to talk about it (hence, maybe why you tried the surprise route), and that is probably due to your youthful age, and second, you seem primarily motivated at exploring swinging when it seems quite possible that what you really want to explore is your latent bi-sexuality. Understand that there is nothing wrong with having the feelings that you are having. Are you absolutely sure that wanting to see him with another woman is not just a justification you have created in your mind to bring about the FMF, or like the other post said, a FF with M on the side? My suggestion is get real clear about what you want or want to explore, then come right out and tell him over a glass of wine after the kids are asleep. His reactions, good or bad, belong to him, so don't let that stop you and don't take responsiblity for how he reacts. If he really loves you, he will listen if you are honest.
Love, R&D