I like ALiOEverything's approach;
Flexible but open...except for the condom thing. That's a given, much to my chagrin, but I try to understand and make the most of it. Surrender (See some of my other posts for that.)
I don't think the answer to your questions lie in our answers, JustMe. You two must set your own boundaries. It's not like there is a
formula for success, though some would like to have some of these guidelines for themselves.
I think my ideal is to go into it all with a completely open mind. Don't act surprised if your mate does something you don't expect.
THEN facelick!!!
Male D