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Boundaries are set for a reason and if one person has so little respect for the comfort level of their own spouse, what are the chances they'll have respect for yours?
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Everybody's different and I don't know you, but Findtime you sound very strict with your rules, and I wonder if, in your relationship, being so stringent is a result of worries about jealousy. Now this is my opinion, but I believe strongly that rules are PRIMARILY developed by the less secure person in a couple out of the worry of what will happen if a particular situation develops. In your case who's idea was it that no MF kissing is allowed to take place? I'm not knocking the rule, but for example purposes, if you primarily came up with that one, and you were hot and heavy into it with another male and decided to kiss him, do you really think that your husband is going to flip out over that if you are the one who was worried about such an action? I doubt it. We started with stringent rules derived out of fear of what may happen and made PRIMARILY by my wife who was very worried about a lot in the LS, but she herself started breaking many rules she made, and you know what? Kudos for her; as the faster of the two, I certainly didn't mind and appreciated the leeway it allowed me to pursue some things on my own, and yes we do have rules but they are always up for renegotiation as we BOTH deem fit. By testing the rules made by the slowest of us, it has strengthened our relationship and put to rest the WORRIES of jealousy. We reassure each other that we are still #1 on each others list, and will be. Personally I don't know how intimate relations could possibly start without some sort of kissing first, but that's just me. Of course everybody has to be comfortable, and has to respect each other, but to condemn this couple because of something going on between them (as long as they are a secure couple within themselves) is a harsh decision not based upon the actual people you meet, and there may be more to it than that. My opinion, as rambled as it is, and valid. (maybe not correct, but valid).