Thank you for all of the advice
Yes I have talked to my wife about it and she is my biggest ally. She said that we are on this together and if I'm not comfortable with it, then lets move on. She also read these replies. She plans on taking the ball and see if this gal will catch on.
One thing I failed to mention is the positive. She is very sexy. I was just really turned off by those 2 things the last time we all met. Rather than just give up, I thought I would post here and see what you all had to say.
One of the other main hang ups I've had is trying to find another couple that we both hit it off with. This couple has been wonderful with these 2 exceptions. This has been a learning experience and takes patience! I also agree on the long haul thing that you mentioned Julie. We plan on slowing down with this couple. If even slowing it down doesn't improve matters, then we will move on.
Oh and in regards to the fat remarks. I've complimented her before but haven't taken the bold stance of, "Could you please stop saying that? You are not fat to me and you are starting to make me think that way if you keep saying it." I do plan on using this if she brings it up again.
When I say musty, I meant like Body odor naturally like if you don't wear deodorant but just wash your pits type of Body odor. It seems like a feint smell at first but really starts to kick in when the action gets hot. I hope this clears that up a bit
Oh and its not the perfume because I'm pretty sure she doesn't wear perfume. The smell isn't around her neck at all. It's when she takes her shirt off when it starts to kick in.
Also I guess I was just frustrated when I originally posted in case you couldn't tell. I don't want to change the rules just for this circumstance. I think it would just cause more problems later on down the road the more I think about it.
Again thank you all for your responses. We are definitely taking them into consideration.