Re: 2 things that bother me... not sure what to do
I agree. There may always be a little give and take in attraction levels, but a mismatch like this is not good. Taking one for the team longterm could lead to some resentment (you) and guilt (your wife.)
Move on to meeting other couples where the balance is better. The quest for the right match can try your patience sometimes, but hang in there!
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