[LaStrata]

There is always the possibility of addiction - addiction is not defined by how often or how much, but by the meaning the drug of chioce has to the addict - and if the addict is willing to risk everything of value to indulge in the drug of choice.

There is really no way you, or some uninvolved counselor, or anyone else can truly know if your wife's behavior is a compulsion or recrecreation unless there are some regular extreme examples that wave red flags. Once a month is not a red flag. Nor does it mean she is not an addict. Either way, whether she is or is not, addicts rarely stop becasue someone else wants them to - they need to come to a point of recognizing they are doing something that is destroying who they are. Is your wife destroying who she is? That would be a big red flag. I would be careful of counselors/therapists. There are many who would say swinging is not healthy no matter what. I comend your openess and willingness to have your wife fulfilled. That said, after reading both of your posts, it seems to me that your wifes' desires go against some of your value systems, and you have a hard time seeing her as a slut or wanting to be one. Many women enjoy being a slut for a nite, and be treated as such. I 've had many a time myself that I felt like saying - stop worshipping me and treat me like the dirty slut I am!! This is sometimes confused with being treated poorly and being disrespected. Our society has taught us that if women are viewed as sexual objects, that this is somehow disrespectful. It is only disrespectful if she doesn't want to be treated that way, or if she is treated that way exclusively. These men can and do treat her that way, because that is what they are there for. That is what she is there for. It doens't mean that anyone is being bad or disrespectful - it only means that everyone is free to be turned on by what turns them on. I think you have a hard time accepting that your wife likes to get down and dirty and there is somehow something wrong with this - and perhaps you need to ask yourself how and why you feel the way you do.