The Swingers Board - View Single Post - My wife is addicted to gangbang. What should i do?

NotsoNew · 12-28-2004, 10:37 PM

I think that Northindycpl hit the nail on the head about the power your wife feels in these Gang Bang situations. And I also agree that you both need to regroup and discuss this further.

One thing I find very interesting are your comments about respect. I can understand your viewpoint very well. After all, you had both been in the Lifestyle for about 12 years when your wife wants to fulfill a fantasy of hers. You have been living and breathing one basic rule of the Lifestyle - respect. And to you, it seems as though you view this situation as a violation of the rules and you see it as being very disrespectful to your wife.

Also, I would be concerned about the safety of the situations. I am assuming it is not the same group of men each month.

Perhaps what you need to do is to approach your wife with concern. I am assuming that she is in a club situation when these GB's happen. Instead of stating that you don't like it or putting her on the defensive, try "I am concerned about you. While I know that you can take care of yourself, I am worried about you when I am not with you because you never know when a situation can get out of control. But when I have observed you in these GB's, I can't help but to feel as though you are being violated and disrespected and it makes me angry that these men choose to treat you like that. I don't want to ruin something that gives you pleasure, but I can't get over these feelings that I have. What can we work out together so we are both comfortable with future encounters?"

I am not expert, but may be a starting point for a good, open conversation. Good luck and let us know what happens.

12-28-2004, 10:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
NotsoNew Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 392 Location: MD Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:newbies123	Re: My wife is addicted to gangbang. What should i do? I think that Northindycpl hit the nail on the head about the power your wife feels in these Gang Bang situations. And I also agree that you both need to regroup and discuss this further. One thing I find very interesting are your comments about respect. I can understand your viewpoint very well. After all, you had both been in the Lifestyle for about 12 years when your wife wants to fulfill a fantasy of hers. You have been living and breathing one basic rule of the Lifestyle - respect. And to you, it seems as though you view this situation as a violation of the rules and you see it as being very disrespectful to your wife. Also, I would be concerned about the safety of the situations. I am assuming it is not the same group of men each month. Perhaps what you need to do is to approach your wife with concern. I am assuming that she is in a club situation when these GB's happen. Instead of stating that you don't like it or putting her on the defensive, try "I am concerned about you. While I know that you can take care of yourself, I am worried about you when I am not with you because you never know when a situation can get out of control. But when I have observed you in these GB's, I can't help but to feel as though you are being violated and disrespected and it makes me angry that these men choose to treat you like that. I don't want to ruin something that gives you pleasure, but I can't get over these feelings that I have. What can we work out together so we are both comfortable with future encounters?" I am not expert, but may be a starting point for a good, open conversation. Good luck and let us know what happens.