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Originally Posted by intuition897 it sounds to me like Mr. Snozz's problem arises from some lack of self-esteem, or some level of insecurity about his sexual equipment or prowess. |
I would be willing to be that in most cases, it is nervousness and not insecurity or lack of self-esteem that is the culprit. The first swing experience is very nerve-racking for both the male and the female...the male just happens to have an appendage that makes the nervousness visible to all!
Many questions race through a man's mind the first time: is this going to be my one and only shot at swinging? are we making a mistake? will this hurt our marriage? are we going to catch an STD? is this woman only here because her husband wanted to be here? did I leave the stove on?
And while the moans and groans going on all around can be exciting, the other sounds (others talking, dogs barking, etc) can be very distracting...leading to a half-staff situation.
Finally, some women take it as a personal insult if they don't see a rock-hard erection the minute love-making begins...which can put even more stress on the situation. I can assure you, ladies, that it probably has nothing to do with your attractiveness! Actually, your magnificent beauty itself may be making him nervous!
One thing I have not read on this site before: the more days I go without sex, the easier I get an erection. This is especially noticable after 2 or 3 days, but after a week (it happens!) I get hard at the drop of a hat. I guess I'm trying to say you may think about doing without sex for awhile before you swing next time.
As everyone has said, this is a very common situation and you have many avenues available to you: separate rooms may work to reduce distractions, mood music may also help reduce distractions, the pill triplets (V, cialis, levitra) can lend assistance, and a few day's abstinance could help. But probably the thing that will finally end up taking care of it for good is just experience...
Take care,
Jim.