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SexhoundDog · 12-21-2004, 11:19 AM

DAHarvey,
There are a few definitely interesting ideas on what to do, ranging from discussing it to dropping the subject. I guess I lean a little closer to discussing it, but I've got a question first, which may explain your wife's feeling. You say you arranged a threesome for her while you watched. Did you just watch, and therefore the threesome was with two other guys and her? If so, she might feel it's cheating because you weren't part of the action, and were just "cheering her on", as you said.

I don't think you have to beat it to death in a discussion, but you've definitely got to let her know that you didn't consider her cheating because you were just as game for it as she was, and that you love her enough that you damn sure don't want her to beat herself up and feel that she's cheated. Then I guess you could insert your "in fact, it was the hottest thing I've ever seen" comment in there at the opportune moment. Then of course, you'll have to finish with "but if you don't want to do it again, I understand, but again Babe, (or whatever term of endearment you use with her) please don't think of yourself as a cheater, I don't and never will."

Something like that, you pick the words . . . and THEN drop it. And I'm sure you're hopeful she'll bring it up again sometime after she's reassured, but let her do it once you've cleared it off your chest.

12-21-2004, 11:19 AM	#10 (permalink)
SexhoundDog Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 357 Location: Colorado Status: M.Male	Re: Wanting to reassure my wife DAHarvey, There are a few definitely interesting ideas on what to do, ranging from discussing it to dropping the subject. I guess I lean a little closer to discussing it, but I've got a question first, which may explain your wife's feeling. You say you arranged a threesome for her while you watched. Did you just watch, and therefore the threesome was with two other guys and her? If so, she might feel it's cheating because you weren't part of the action, and were just "cheering her on", as you said. I don't think you have to beat it to death in a discussion, but you've definitely got to let her know that you didn't consider her cheating because you were just as game for it as she was, and that you love her enough that you damn sure don't want her to beat herself up and feel that she's cheated. Then I guess you could insert your "in fact, it was the hottest thing I've ever seen" comment in there at the opportune moment. Then of course, you'll have to finish with "but if you don't want to do it again, I understand, but again Babe, (or whatever term of endearment you use with her) please don't think of yourself as a cheater, I don't and never will." Something like that, you pick the words . . . and THEN drop it. And I'm sure you're hopeful she'll bring it up again sometime after she's reassured, but let her do it once you've cleared it off your chest.