That Sucks!
I had some self-esteem problems after I couldn't perform with the same woman three times in a row. The problem was that she would play with me for about 2-3 minutes and if I didn't rise to full staff in that length of time she would quit. The first time my problem was we were in an overcrowded play room and people kept stepping on me. The next time when we played again I new any minute she was going to quit, so I couldn't get it up because I was worried about not being able to get it up fast enough. Then the last time we played just before we started she whispered in my ear "this is your last chance", no pressure there.
Of course, I got stressed out and 2 or 3 minutes later she gave up again. Very embarrassing and I couldn't stop dwelling on it for days. I felt so humiliated I just wanted to hide under a rock.
The worst part was I got worried that I would be dwelling on it the next time we went to the club and wouldn't be able to get it up then. Luckily it hasn't been a problem since, but it sure made going to the club the next time hard to get enthused about for me.
I would be happy to tell you how to deal with it but this happened to me months ago and I still haven't got totally over it yet.
On the up side the couple in the above scenario has invited us to play again, but I can tell you before I drop my pants for her we are going to have to have a little talk first because I don't think my ego could handle a fourth no action play session.