[CB_n_Red]

It looks to me as though you are very uncomfortable with the situation, both the unequal nature of what has gone on in the past (she gets to play with others and you don't) and the current situation of your wife playing away without you.

On that basis things should be slowing down to the point where both of you are comfortable with what you are doing. You clearly aren't so your wife needs to rein herself in (the old "progress at the speed of the slowest" routine - a very sound approach).

It would appear that the one on ones are the problem (they would be for either of us! Big time!). I reckon that would be a problem for most swingers and probably particularly for those here on the Board. There have been a few threads lately where this sort of situation has come up. The end results are rarely very pretty.

I can offer no easy solution but I would suggest that the playing needs to stop until you sort your relationship with your wife out. I worry that she refers to "incompatibility". That's a big red flag as well.

To answer your final question - neither of us play alone. Not always in the same room, but always close by.

CB