[wrnakedru]

Did you come to your list of simple rules together after discussing the things that were important to each of you? Or did you state the ones that you felt should be rules - and he, more or less, agreed to them?

I ask because of his remark that he "did things the way he wanted to do them."

Your follow up post indicates that prior to this experience you have been involved in activity that, it sounds, didn't actively include him. So you had agreed to going to the "next step", but maybe added the provided set of rules you would feel comfortable following as you expanded your activity.

Well, I think it's time to sit down and have that discussion again. You admit that you too did not stop the fact you were separating into different rooms, so it looks like neither of you was holding to the rules. I think maybe it's a good idea to include a new one - a first one, if you will - that no activity should happen when either of you have had "too much" to drink. A drink or two - maybe even three, depending on the time frame - can help serve to ease your nerves, relax you a bit and can be a help when utilized thusly.

I believe your experience has taught you both that too much to drink can mar your judgement and can end up with your activity bringing unhappiness to you both. It's all supposed to be about fun, so try to keep a clear enough head to define what exactly is "fun" for both of you - not only at the moment, but later on as well.

Take some time to be sure he hasn't been hampered for so long by whatever your prior activity has been that he is just gonna run amok with his new freedom. It is important to remember that yours is the relationship that matters most, and the lasting effects of your activity need to be good ones - not something you have to try to get over - each and every time.

Please take time for some serious discussion before you attempt any further playtime. Be honest with one another, so that you have no surprises to deal with in the midst of what should be pleasure.