[hotsummers]

I feel that the both of you might not understand that fantasies are something that all people have and none can control. What I mean by that is we have little or no control over what excites us deep down inside in that place we don't talk to much about with almost everyone on the planet. Your husband can't control that he is excited by his lesbian fantasies. On the other hand you can not control that you do not share his fantasies yourself. Would I be wrong to assume that you have fantasies of your own that he does not know about??


What you both do about it from there is the question. Based on your husband's forcing the issue so insensitively and your reluctance to participate I'd say you both are missing one key ingredient for swinging: that is the need/desire to see your SO feel pleasure. For many of us, that is the main driving force. Our SO's pleasure is a main focus for our own pleasure. When they are turned on, we are turned on.

To be in any relationship and to deny ones own sexual desires would be stifling. You both owe it to yourselves to be open and honest with each other about your wants, needs, desires and expectations. As a glimmer of hope, if you do have fantasies that you have not shared with him, I would strongly suggest that you share them immediately. There maybe some overlapping common ground that you can build on. If not, then it would be best for both of you to move on and find a SO that wants YOU to be happy too.