Your post is a difficult one to respond to since you have not registered, and have left unsaid many things that I would like to know before responding to you. Too many unknowns to really be able to offer any definitive advice, in my opinion.
Any chance we can get you to register so that there can be some give and take dialogue? I truly feel that you would get much more helpful advice/opinions if you wouldn't mind doing that.
If you decide to do that - among other things I would like to ask are these questions: 1. How long have you been together? [yes, I know you say you have been married two years - but how long together in total?] 2. Your approximate ages? 3. First marriage for each of you? 4. How much of your social time together are you devoting to swing clubs at the present time? 5. What other sorts of things do you enjoy doing together? 6. With other couples?
You mention that he expressed interest in lesbian activity and the idea of seeing you participate in it prior to your marriage. It certainly seems that you've come a long way beyond that if you are now each considering divorce because of your differences regarding lifestyle activity. I am just trying to understand how it became so important to your "present", your "future" and whether or not your marriage can continue in such a relatively short period of time. Perhaps he was not completely forthcoming about his expectations/hopes if this is where you are now.
To me, the questions I've asked are important to understand how you got where you are. But regardless the responses, I have to bluntly say that if the future of your marriage relies on your compliance with his wishes then; 1. he has no clue what the lifestyle is about and is motivated purely from selfish ambition and 2. the marriage has no future - barely has a "present".
Sorry - but that's how I see it. It's possible it could be viewed otherwise if there were more information to go on - but that's the only conclusion I can draw given the sketchy facts we have.
WR
