Unregistered

I imagine that this has not been the first post on this topic, and I apologize for any redundancy.

I really need some thoughts on my situation . . . my husband and I have experimented with going to swingers clubs a few times and every time I just feel worse and worse about it. When we got married it was not clear that he wanted this lifestyle. I knew that he was fascinated by lesbians and excited by the idea of me making out with a woman, but I never realized that he really meant for it to go past that.

So now we have been married for two years and have come to a make-or-break point over swinging. I just feel terrible when we've come home from swing clubs because anything I do, it's to make him happy and to make him want me, but going to the clubs only feeds the appetite.

So, I've put my foot down- I just can't do it and feel good about myself the next day b/c I do it for him, not for me or us. He wonders if it's not time to get divorced.

I can't tell if divorce is a threat or what- we've both brought it up and it looms over us- but only when we're talking about swinging. Otherwise, we're really happy together. But I know that this is a fundamental difference and I don't want to disappoint him our whole lives.

I've tried. I gave it the best shot I could to try to go to clubs, meet and flirt and play. I feel like I've done my best to see his side and I'm scared that I'll lose him anyway =(

Anyone have some advice?