[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I really have to Dito what everyone has said here. You need to decide how important your marriage is because what you are doing is cheating even though you haven't gone any further than some "foreplay".

I'll repeat for another time "swinging is swinging - cheating is cheating"

If you read through some of the threads on the board you will find that the marriages here are very solid, together and all have great communication and care for each others feelings. No means no in the lifestyle even between partners. Maybe in the future you two might be ready to move into the lifestyle but for now it sounds like your husband is not interested. I say drop it.

Mrs Spoomonkey