I would like to thank you guys for your high quality posts. It is very encouraging and enlightening to read other knowledgeable people's views. The ‘reverse psychology” idea is excellent, and yes I had already tried it. It works indeed. After a while she will bring up the subject, because she wants it herself. Just like leftcoastcouple I tend to bring up the subject too much, I guess. And definitely the ‘good girl/bad girl’ thing is a huge factor. We cannot shake off our cultural conditioning a hundred percent.
For the benefit of Julie I would like to say that if one is turned on more by a certain event (in this case talking about swinging), then, being turned on less by the non-event (in this case NOT talking about swinging) is a simple and direct consequence of the fact that the event is the opposite of the non-event. Hence, the opposite effect can logically be expected. I showed your post to my wife, who expressed her surprise about it. Julie, read again my reply to NakedInSeattle:
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Originally Posted by Compersor NakedInSeattle,
I think you misunderstand what I meant by ...what I tell her to do". I simply assure her that she doesn't have to try and divide her attention between me and the other guy, because I don't have any exaggerated feelings of jealousy. None actually.
I don't tell (order) my wife to do anything. I introduced her to swinging, after discovering it myself, just over two years ago, because I thought it would enrich our (already excellent) marriage. It took a while to convince her to try it, but when she did, she took to it like a fish to water. That is apart from the communication problem I have mentioned in this thread. I have many times asked her whether she is sure she wishes to continue and she is invariably very positive about that. She definitely doesn't want to stop. I always assure her that I would not, in any way, take it out on her or show resentment if she wanted to end our involvement with the Swing Lifestyle. At the end of the day her enjoyment counts for everything. I would not enjoy it in the slightest if I knew she was doing it just to please me, and she knows that. |