[leftcoastcouple]

Originally Posted by Denver2some

Like Miss Piggy, I am not a good "storyteller." I have fantasies, but it's hard for me to talk about them in the vivid detail my hubby would prefer. The same is true when he asks me to tell him what I liked during our last swing session. I may have loved it, but I'm shy about going into the specific details of why. (And I'm not worried about hubby's ego ... he knows he's the best!)

So I'm not the only one? Mrs. Leftcoast has reacted the same way when we've played in the past. Particularly when we played alone, I'd get all worked up waiting for her to get home so I could hear all the juicy details. Yet, typically I'd get something like "It was fun." I'd ask, "What did you do?" "We had sex," she'd respond. :rollseyes

If I pressed for details, she'd act uncomfortable and tell me she didn't know what more to say. This drove me nuts on two levels--1) Wanting to know more to satisfy my voyeuristic needs, and 2) Not understanding, period. I mean, how hard is it to describe what you did, I'd be left wondering. And this wasn't a case of her "doing it for me," as a couple of times she met up with the guy with whom she played without telling me beforehand and told me about it later, as we'd agreed.

So what I'm saying is this: it's not limited to your wife's culture. Often women in the US also have problems talking about sex, due to how we are raised. A girl is told millions of times in her life "be a good girl." And many of us are also told that sex is a naughty thing that should never be discussed. This is a very difficult hurdle to overcome.

This may well be the answer. Mrs. Leftcoast was a virgin when I met her, and she held out on me for a looooong time. If you'd told me then that she'd end up swinging, I'd have certified you as nuts right there on the spot. The fact that she has reached that point, but still can't completely leave the "good girl" who doesn't discuss sex (a common problem with expressing her wants/needs, too), isn't that surprising, I suppose. But it had never dawned on me--duh--until I read your post, Denver2some.

Lastly, not every person likes having talk of swinging brought up during one-on-one lovemaking. It's possible, if you are bringing the topic up a lot that way, she feels the "swinging talk" is intruding upon the sanctity of your lovemaking as a couple.

I plead guilty of bringing it up too much, although--thick-headed male that I am--I can't understand how it could not be an exciting topic for anyone, if brought up with discretion. Because one thing's for sure: It's a definite way to get me going, and she knows that!