The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Married to a non-swinger.

Compersor · 10-15-2004, 06:03 AM

I know exactly how you feel. It is an emotional rollercoaster. You don’t know whether you’re coming or going. I refer you to today ‘s post of mine (General swingers stuff/wife loves doing mfm but is reluctant to talk about it), in which I describe a problem that is similar to yours. That is indeed a big incompatibility. In my case it detracts from the pleasure I derive from our private couplings. I just feel less motivated to have sex. Talking about it, the complicity of it all, really really sharing this experience, the communication, the high level of intimacy that is involved, it is all that which brings you closer together. And it is all the more maddening if your mate enjoys the actual event (as was the case with you and is the case with me). I don’t know what to do about it. Talking doesn’t help in my case. She just avoids the subject. I suppose I am also married to a non-swinger, albeit a swinging one. I have many times asked her if she wants to stop, because her enjoying the experience is an absolute prerequisite. But no, she doesn’t want to stop, she likes doing it and wants to continue. Yeah great, but she will not talk about it with me. And before every encounter – not that often, by the way - she gets quite jittery and tetchy and sometimes bites my head off when I ask her if she doesn’t want to slip into something sexy of wear some nice heels for the occasion. Anyway, read my abovementioned post about that. So, all things being equal, I think I am in much the same boat as you. I wish you and your wife the best of luck and hope you can work out your differences.

10-15-2004, 06:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
Compersor Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 31 Location: Europe	Re: Married to a non-swinger. I know exactly how you feel. It is an emotional rollercoaster. You don’t know whether you’re coming or going. I refer you to today ‘s post of mine (General swingers stuff/wife loves doing mfm but is reluctant to talk about it), in which I describe a problem that is similar to yours. That is indeed a big incompatibility. In my case it detracts from the pleasure I derive from our private couplings. I just feel less motivated to have sex. Talking about it, the complicity of it all, really really sharing this experience, the communication, the high level of intimacy that is involved, it is all that which brings you closer together. And it is all the more maddening if your mate enjoys the actual event (as was the case with you and is the case with me). I don’t know what to do about it. Talking doesn’t help in my case. She just avoids the subject. I suppose I am also married to a non-swinger, albeit a swinging one. I have many times asked her if she wants to stop, because her enjoying the experience is an absolute prerequisite. But no, she doesn’t want to stop, she likes doing it and wants to continue. Yeah great, but she will not talk about it with me. And before every encounter – not that often, by the way - she gets quite jittery and tetchy and sometimes bites my head off when I ask her if she doesn’t want to slip into something sexy of wear some nice heels for the occasion. Anyway, read my abovementioned post about that. So, all things being equal, I think I am in much the same boat as you. I wish you and your wife the best of luck and hope you can work out your differences.