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Originally Posted by Newbies46514 As someone who does not want to make a similar mistake... |
Well...it wasn't a really bad one! Certainly livable with and it didn't put either of us off.
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Originally Posted by Newbies46514 We've not had our first experience yet and as I stated in another thread, we are going to our first club this coming Saturday. Now we've said that we're just going to go and meet people, check things out, etc. But we've also said that we won't 'do' anything unless we really, really want to...but we are both so turned on by just the concept of all of this. I know being turned on and fantasy is completely different that actually doing these things though. |
That sounds like a pretty healthy approach. The good bit about clubs is that lack of pressure to do anything. We've only attended one once and we did nothing with anyone else (except sharing the sauna). We still had a great time though. We know a couple who went to a club 5 times before playing with others. Not a problem!
You're right though - be sure about what you want out of the experience. It's guaranteed you'll both be turned on by it anyway.
As it says in large friendly letters on the cover of the book : Don't Panic!
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Originally Posted by Newbies46514 So why is it bad to 'jump right in' and why is separate rooms bad? And what is 'soft sing'?
Thanks! |
Soft swing is usually taken to mean any sort of interaction with others short of penetrative sex, though different people do have varying definitions. It can be as mild as playing with your own partner in the same room as others are doing the same, though more often it will include some touching with others and maybe oral.
We don't think it's necessarily bad to jump straight in. Probably depends on just how well you and your partner have talked it all through beforehand. Same goes for same vs separate room. We like same room because we like to see each other enjoying themselves (and being on hand if something isn't working quite right) but separate rooms can work fine as well. All depends on how well you get on with the other couple. Of course there is always the possibilty of indulging in a bit of both!
The key thing I reckon is to stay with whatever feel comfortable with. Go with no expectations and just enjoy yourselves! Hope it goes well.
CB