Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Botcpl I have to say that hit me like a brick. My first thought was: what else will you lie to me about? I always hear about communication and trust, but now I'm not so sure. I can understand not giving out too much, like last names and where we work or even the type of job sometimes (if I told you what I did, well there are only a half dozen or so of us even though my "company" has over five thousand employees....), but is this much caution really needed?
I can understand if you are from a small town, but since most of us live in metropolitan areas, is it really needed? Maybe this isn't the right place for this comment, but I don't know where else it should be. Usually I agree with what Likeminds321 says so you can see why I'm walking around with a big question mark on my forehead.
One reason I am (and we are) looking into swinging is so we don't have to lie. I don't want to lie to my wife and I (we) don't want to lie to the people I'm (we're) with.
Signed,
Confused and Dejected |
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by misterbates You Lie about your names?!?!?...and i suppose you expect people to have sex with you and be honest about themselves??...hmm.."yea i dont have to tell em about my herpes..after all they lie about their name"....that is a great way to think.....another example of why we are so disgusted with swingers and swinging....... |
I'm not surprised that I confused and upset some people. Even after I posted I wondered if I would truly be able to use another name at a club. But I decided to leave my post as it was.
Let me give some background, and by the time I'm finished I may change my own mind . . . or at least explain my reasoning in a way that may garner a little more understanding from others.
My husband has been a prominent business man in our town for over twenty-five years. In the first ten years of his business he was in the newspaper and on television often. People he didn't know would approach him in public to shake his hand and tell him they saw him on TV or read about his work. He even had a weekly radio show for many years.
He doesn't appear in the paper or on TV any longer, but I am worried that when people see him they may think
this guy looks so familiar, and all it will take is for Mr LM to say his first name and *click* the people will know who we are.
We have attended only one club. It was an off-premise club that meets once a month at various hotels. Those who attend often reserve a room for the night, so in a way, it becomes an on-premise club but with more privacy. It was apparent to us that people were having sex that night with people they met at the club. They'd disappear for awhile, then come back all showered with wet hair. Ten minutes later they'd be heading up to their suite again. The dance floor was hopin' with people feeling each other up and kissing. This is what the scene is like for clubs that meet only once a month. People meet and have sex. They may never have sex with that person again. They may never see that person again. I have read that some people never even exchange names.
We introduced ourselves to maybe thirty people that night. That's thirty people we determined--after chatting 5-10 minutes--we weren't interested in swinging with. Would it really have been so terrible if we used another first name? I don't think so. If we met a couple who we would want to continue to see, outside the club, we would let them know then and there that we use a "club name" when we're clubbing.
Most people on the Swingers Board don't use their real name. They create a User Name and sign with that name. Why? Privacy.
On our swinger ad sites we always use our real first names. We have control over who can see our faces with an ad. There is more privacy with ads.
It was probably a mistake to go to a local club. If we every go to a club again it will be far away from our home town. In another state we wouldn't feel uncomfortable giving people our first names.
LM