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frenzb4sex · 08-11-2004, 12:06 PM

Heya Spoo...

Funny you should ask this question. For the 14 years we have been together, I have been a resounding top and she a bottom. Last week, while myself and the missus were having a little "randy" time, things suddenly were different. It wasn't that I relinquished my role as a top, but my wife had suddenly jumped right into being a top as well. To say the least, it not only surprised me, but actually kind of made the experience "less" for me. I attributed this sudden blip on the radar to a couple of things.

1) In the times we have been together over the years, both of our sexual roles have been satisfactory to us, and I know this because we have talked about it and revisited it from time to time. When this happens right in the moment, it was just so different from the person that I have become extremely comfortable with in bed and to have it flip up like that almost made it as if it wasn't my wife.

2) In recent swinging experiences, I believe that the person she has been with has placed her in a more top role, either by her choosing or something that just occurred naturally with that person. Therefore, she had become semi-comfortable with it and then "sprung" it on me.

Question here: In situations like this, if a semi-change or even drastic turnabouts take place like I observed, wouldn't you think it be prudent to discuss it before the act? While I can see the advantage of it being spontaneous, because of that entrenched comfort level I had and was happy with, I really think that the way she did it really had not a chance of "ending up good".

Also, in situations where in swinging your SO may have played a different top/bottom role or even just changed some different ways of doing things, etc., what is your expectation as to how that affects things between you and the SO's experiences together? Do you expect for that person to come back and do everything that they have learned or did with their swing mate? Do you feel that it's hard to possibly emulate the same type of behavior because of the simple differences in the people you are with? Do you find yourself maybe being a little different in the sexual experiences with others as well?

All of these types of questions were raised in my mind....Interested in your thoughts!

Tim

08-11-2004, 12:06 PM	#13 (permalink)
frenzb4sex Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 239 Location: Central Illinois Status: Male of Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:frenzb4sex	Re: Top or Bottom Heya Spoo... Funny you should ask this question. For the 14 years we have been together, I have been a resounding top and she a bottom. Last week, while myself and the missus were having a little "randy" time, things suddenly were different. It wasn't that I relinquished my role as a top, but my wife had suddenly jumped right into being a top as well. To say the least, it not only surprised me, but actually kind of made the experience "less" for me. I attributed this sudden blip on the radar to a couple of things. 1) In the times we have been together over the years, both of our sexual roles have been satisfactory to us, and I know this because we have talked about it and revisited it from time to time. When this happens right in the moment, it was just so different from the person that I have become extremely comfortable with in bed and to have it flip up like that almost made it as if it wasn't my wife. 2) In recent swinging experiences, I believe that the person she has been with has placed her in a more top role, either by her choosing or something that just occurred naturally with that person. Therefore, she had become semi-comfortable with it and then "sprung" it on me. Question here: In situations like this, if a semi-change or even drastic turnabouts take place like I observed, wouldn't you think it be prudent to discuss it before the act? While I can see the advantage of it being spontaneous, because of that entrenched comfort level I had and was happy with, I really think that the way she did it really had not a chance of "ending up good". Also, in situations where in swinging your SO may have played a different top/bottom role or even just changed some different ways of doing things, etc., what is your expectation as to how that affects things between you and the SO's experiences together? Do you expect for that person to come back and do everything that they have learned or did with their swing mate? Do you feel that it's hard to possibly emulate the same type of behavior because of the simple differences in the people you are with? Do you find yourself maybe being a little different in the sexual experiences with others as well? All of these types of questions were raised in my mind....Interested in your thoughts! Tim __________________ "I can resist everything except for temptation..."