 Re: assertive women
Funny because we have been discussing this topic ourselves, but with respect to both sexes. I'm still sorting this all out in my mind, actually, but here are my thoughts so far.
We both tend to shy away from people who come on too strong - it's hard to describe exactly what "too strong" is. On the other hand, couples that are too shy will likely not send any signals that they are interested in us...meaning a connection will never be made.
We like people who are confident, intelligent, gentle and have a fair idea of what they want. We tend to move away from people who are forceful, rough, loud or send mixed signals.
Examples of the differences are:
- On the dance floor, people who make eye contact and pick up on our interested/not interested signals come off as intelligent. Those who push right in come across as arrogant.
- People who are overpowering while dancing or whose hands wander too quickly or too roughly are forceful. People whose hands wander slowly and gently are caring and sensual.
- At the table, people who can make smalltalk, say logical things and reasonably express their desires are confident. People who want to jump right to the punchline (lets go back to the rooms NOW!) without allowing us to think things through are forceful.
- Another tell-tale moment: kissing. an immediate, hard tongue down the throat is a biiig warning sign to us that we may want to reconsider where we go from here!
How do I feel about a woman being assertive? I love it when they express interest first - that is a real turn on! I love it when they tell me what they would like to do and where their limits are. And I love it when they are gentle with their hands.
I'm not as much into submissive ladies as I may misinterpret that as disinterest.
Of course, this is just one datapoint. Not sure how close I am to the typical male...
Jim.
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