[stoutgatte]

We always assume the other person will say no if they are not allowed to do something. This has lead to situations where the hubby of the other couple was angry with me for doing something with the wife. Both were right there and neither said anything, we only found out the next day the hubby was unhappy. I did apologize (I was a little pushy and felt very guilty about it), and then explained to him, if you don't want something to happen, say no. If he said something I would have stopped immediately, but neither did...

To get back to how it applies to you, how were you supposed to know of their rule, it is not your problem, apart from the fact that she now don't want to talk to you. And of course, the question you have to ask yourself is, if they can't stick to a rule about webcams and then get angry at you for it, what will happen if they do something in a swinging environment, and the other don't like it. I seriously don't like the situation...

If I was you and still interested, I'd send them a message saying: "I'm sorry, I did not know about your rule and I feel it's your work to communicate it to people you chat with. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, it was not the intention." If they still won't talk to you drop it, there are plenty of fish in the sea, they are not the only swinger couple out there who will be interested in you or you will find interesting.

Also (and this is only my opinion), I believe 2xfirst time couples will be way more difficult to all share a good experience, there is so many unknowns in swinging (especially on the emotional side during your first time) that doubling up the risk doesn't sit well with me. I'd suggest going with a more experienced couple who are at least comfy with their side of things for your first time. That way the only unknowns are your feelings and reactions... I'm not saying it can't work, I'm just saying you're doubling your risk of something simple going wrong...