 Re: Hot Hubby/Fat Wife
My wife is 5'7.5" and has fluctuated between 135 lbs when we were married to almost double that after she had post partum following our first child. Now, there wasn't a time during that, even during our swinging times, that my wife wasn't worrying about something going on that made her feel insecure or not good enough.
After a while though, something clicked with her. She found that many men were not looking for statistics, but rather a real person to which her personality and combination of pretty looks made her an extremely attractive person (not that she wasn't already). Even in this self-realization and moment of clarity, she was able to see that I felt the same way about the people that we were meeting. We have partied with those that you would say are "bigger", but their personality was what really made them very sexy. In fact, we've also partied with those that some would consider "barbie" material, and while it was a great physical thing, it wasn't the same on the mental level that I have felt with some of those that don't come close to that category. These great looking females were not airheads, but even in meeting them there was insecurity in the way they looked, even though they were great--the most ironic thing is that many women who you would think would be more self-conscious are actually more secure with themselves than anyone else. And that is AWESOME and such a GREAT asset!!
The funny thing about this is, both of us do not regard us in the HWP category. When we see those that declare the world-famous "HWP" or "fit" we just click on by. It's a preference, and it's fine to be that way, but we don't want to feel like there's expectations to measure BMI when you talk to them in person.
This is by NO means a slam or anything on those that prefer to party with HWP or "Fit", it's just our experience, what we prefer, and our perspective. We've made many friends who may not be all for us in the swinging aspect, but are great people that we can just hang out and have a good time with.
Either way, it's probably better to discuss this in depth with your hubby. I would be willing to bet he will be able to quell some of those afterthoughts!!!
Tim
|