This IS a tough situation, but there ARE people out there who aren't hung up on whether you've gained 30 pounds or not. I'm no skinny minny, believe me, but my husband thinks I'm hot so I'm not overly concerned with what others think
THere are people out there who only want a certain "image" and then there are those who would much rather have a really great woman who knows how to have a good time. The only difficulty is finding them. What about your husband, is he only interested in those couples who are specifying they want superman and wonderwoman?
It's hard to find someone you feel comfortable with and when you do there is no guarantee that they will be comfortable or attracted to you, believe me I know. (see my post in this topic lol)
To me it's all about attitude. If someone has the right one, it doesn't matter to me WHAT they look like. I'm attracted to personality first and foremost and I know I'm not the only one out there, so you can certainly find a couple you feel comfortable with.
Good luck and I agree, don't call yourself fat. There are plenty of people in the world willing to beat up on you, so don't help them!