MFMs are my area of expertise.
Its true you never know who you are going to meet until you actualy meet.
A couple red flags:
Avoids chatting with hubby. Even though its not hubby he is trying to fuck he still has to hit it off in a very straight way with the MR.
Talks differently to you if he knows hubby is not around.
Backing out...No matter how good the excuse. They will all have one. They back out once the deal is done for ever. EVERY male who has stood us up, no matter how good the excuse, who we gave a second chance has blown us off again.
Pics he has sent or shown...are they recent? Look for things in the pic that might give away the date. We have had males send us pics that were 10 years old.
Talk to him on the phone (if you havent already) You can learn alot more from someones voice than just chatting on line.
Is he certified (If he is on a swingers site)? We have found single males who have been on for more than 6 months and are still not certified are not certified for a reason. They all have a good story as to why they havent been certified. Dont listen to them.
The most important thing is the comfort level you AND hubby have for meeting him. Both Mrs naughty and I have to agree on the single male. She may be ready to meet him at the nearest motel to fuck the shit out of him but if I get bad Mojo its a no deal.
You are going to have to go on instinct a little (Ok, a lot). Meeting is always taking a chance.
Keep everything in your comfort area. I'm not just talking about sex. When you meet for drinks do it at a place YOU are comfortable. If you get a motel get one where YOU are comfortable.
Always have a code word or phrase to let the other know if you are getting bad vibes after meeting.
We have had pretty good experiences with MFMs. But ALOT of them are just playing a game. Dont get disappointed if a single male or 2 or 3 back out on you. Its what a lot of them do.
There are plenty out there . Dont waste to much time on just one.