Dear C -
Thanks so much for registering
so that you could come back and give more information about your situation.
When I suggested "same room activity" being a good solution, I didn't mean "soft swap" - rather all four participants being in the same room. Some find the presence of others a distraction that can negatively impact the activity and increase performance anxiety. However, in your case the presence of your wife seems to be a key factor in decreasing your performance anxiety.
I agree with the factors brought out by Tim in his post, especially the downward spiral you agreed with as well. It can become difficult to determine if a problem would have happened, since the concern itself can bring about a "self-fulfilling prophecy".
I understand your desire not to rely on Viagra as the solution, but perhaps it's not so bad as a form of 'insurance' for you until you become more accustomed to[comfortable with] these new circumstances.
Thanks again for registering so you could respond. You might consider going to the introductions forum and introducing yourself [and your wife] to the board. I hope you will continue to find this a helpful and interesting place to visit on line - and one in which you will be an ongoing participant.
Welcome!
WR
