Well, i did take the time to register... So here i am
Thanks for the posts... Yes, it's very much a downward spiral, but we've discussed it a lot, and have come to the decision that we'll only swing in an environment where me and my wife can interact as well (for the time being)... It's only a problem since it impedes a lot of the fun that can be had, I don't see/have an issue outside the swinging scene...
We did drink quite a bit that night, but not enough to be totally pissed, I agree too much alchohol is a bad thing... I have thought about keeping Viagra or something like that as a backup, u know, some *peace of mind*, but i'd like to sort out the issue at hand...
As to why it is a problem, we'd like to swop, not only soft swing... Same room sex isn't THAT much of a turn on as is the fun of flirting, playing, snogging and eventually actually sex... We're both very open to it and want it... Maybe my body said it doesn't want the other gal, but I can promise u it was not what it thought the next day(week really)
Anyway, thanks for the responses and I hope I actually clarified things a little...