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frenzb4sex · 06-07-2004, 07:23 PM

We just recently ventured into the world of clubs and house parties, and there's benefits and advantages to that as well as the one on one meetings. I think that the first thing that some people haven't touched on here is that you DO need to set what you consider to be ground rules for yourselves as husband and wife no matter what the backdrop, because sometimes not saying something ahead of time or not really knowing what you expect to potentially happen if it comes to that can be very destructive to a night out.

Honestly, what we have found is that those that are beginning in the lifestyle very rarely will play on first meet. Not saying that everyone after a period of time is ready to rock at the word go, some people always have that as a rule, and that's cool, there just seems to be a higher percentage of people that play on first meet that have several experiences under their belt. I don't know if this is so much a comfort thing and "not wanting to step too quick", perhaps it's just our own individual observations. It depends on kind of what YOU are looking for--just like with preferences, "When to play" is one of the big ones that is a necessity to pin down as what you want.

I will say that there is a degree of naughtiness that goes beyond just simply being swingers to going to the clubs and parties, because in no time, people that you may have seen across the room, given a few smiles and glances to, can be over having a conversation and boom! You find yourself in a room with a person you didn't even know existed but an hour ago.....to each their own, again, it has its advantages and disadvantages.

ALILOeverything talked about not playing on first meet because she wanted a chance to communicate the attraction level with her husband. That's a great way to develop the communiation in the relationship, some have non verbal signals to each other (although last time I tried giving Lora the sign of "game on" she bunted), and some just have done it enough to know what types of men/women the people would be interested in--a certain "wavelength" grows, like a swinger's vulcan mind meld.

Either way--don't feel like you have to do anything--it's up to you to decide what pace you want to go, and don't let anyone change that...

Tim

06-07-2004, 07:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
frenzb4sex Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 239 Location: Central Illinois Status: Male of Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:frenzb4sex	Re: Once you meet a couple We just recently ventured into the world of clubs and house parties, and there's benefits and advantages to that as well as the one on one meetings. I think that the first thing that some people haven't touched on here is that you DO need to set what you consider to be ground rules for yourselves as husband and wife no matter what the backdrop, because sometimes not saying something ahead of time or not really knowing what you expect to potentially happen if it comes to that can be very destructive to a night out. Honestly, what we have found is that those that are beginning in the lifestyle very rarely will play on first meet. Not saying that everyone after a period of time is ready to rock at the word go, some people always have that as a rule, and that's cool, there just seems to be a higher percentage of people that play on first meet that have several experiences under their belt. I don't know if this is so much a comfort thing and "not wanting to step too quick", perhaps it's just our own individual observations. It depends on kind of what YOU are looking for--just like with preferences, "When to play" is one of the big ones that is a necessity to pin down as what you want. I will say that there is a degree of naughtiness that goes beyond just simply being swingers to going to the clubs and parties, because in no time, people that you may have seen across the room, given a few smiles and glances to, can be over having a conversation and boom! You find yourself in a room with a person you didn't even know existed but an hour ago.....to each their own, again, it has its advantages and disadvantages. ALILOeverything talked about not playing on first meet because she wanted a chance to communicate the attraction level with her husband. That's a great way to develop the communiation in the relationship, some have non verbal signals to each other (although last time I tried giving Lora the sign of "game on" she bunted), and some just have done it enough to know what types of men/women the people would be interested in--a certain "wavelength" grows, like a swinger's vulcan mind meld. Either way--don't feel like you have to do anything--it's up to you to decide what pace you want to go, and don't let anyone change that... Tim __________________ "I can resist everything except for temptation..."