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carrysmith

Why is it so damn hard to find Attractive People in the swinging world

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I'm not writing this to offend anybody in this forum, but I've notice or at least here in south Florida, that it's super hard to find attractive women and couples in the swinging world? At the club we go to there are plenty of women with outstanding bodies and figures, but when it comes to the face department, they all need Jesus in their lives and good facial plastic surgeon! Then on the other hand, we will go to a regular dance club and we see good looking, young, in-shape folks all around the club. I wounder if anybody has encountered this before??

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:lol:

It is a mystery. Maybe men with good looking women arent into sharing or vice versa.

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I don't know where you're hanging out but we have been very impressed with the number of attractive couples we find at Haulover beach and at Trapeze and on a couple of web sites since we moved here in 06. Perhaps your standards are impossible or perhaps you just think way too highly of your own attractiveness. South Florida is a big metro area with millions of people and thousands of swingers. It's a target rich environment with a lot of very nice people. Perhaps you're just too shallow to notice?

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We don't live in Florida anymore, but we do know of a few swingers there. Women with incredible bodies are uncommonly common in Florida, I guess it is the beach body mentality, knowing summer is so much longer down there, so they never get the winter padding. Same is true for men, but not as common.

 

That said, there are plenty of incredibly beautiful swingers in FLA and elsewhere. In fact I ran across one from FLA just the other day, incredible body and face of a Goddess. I only wished we lived closer or could get down there more often.

 

Not sure if you are picking the wrong clubs or expecting that everyone should look like models or what, but there are absolutely some people in the LS that make your head snap around when you see them.

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u r right south florida does have alot of good looking people,as we have met many in reg,club in soutbeach,but the min, we mention swinging or swingers clubs the freindship stops right there..and yes im very proud to say it that i am a very attracive women & yes i have high standards,ohh welll!.....like @ the club we sometimes go 2 miamivelvet,its a great club but the members are so unattractive,,its a reality of life, ugly couples r looking for good looking couples & good looking couples want nothing 2 do with ugly couples.

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I'm just a hick Okie. I don't know much about the clubs in South Florida, but I do have a friend I met in 1971 who lives in Boynton Beach. At 64, she still works out regularly, plays tennis, and fills a bikini nicely. Her face is not quite so smooth as it was when she was twenty-five, (too many Florida suntans, maybe) but (in my opinion) she is still quite pretty. We've talked about possibly swinging when I finally get to spend more time in Florida, but haven't made a real decision yet.

 

It's been my general experience that people are more often avoided because they can't carry on an intelligent conversation, spell, punctuate, construct sentences, or otherwise present an interesting demeanor, than they are for beauty or lack thereof.

 

Alura

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yes no dought ive seen many mature women that look great 4 the age,but its so hard to see one within the swinging world,most of the women over 45 that ive seen in swinging,they look really weathered as if they've been drinking n smoking since they were 10yrs old, we call them leather faces,and another thing is why do some many people/couples in swinging have the seedy look!! as if they r addicted to sex,drugs,liqour & everything else???...about the only thing i like about the swinging world is the freedom at the clubs and byob..

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Okay, I looked at how long you have been on these boards, about a year and a half, and that you have a reasonable number of post, 47 to date, and I gave you the benefit of doubt.

 

Now I must conclude you are either a troll or very much like a guy I knew in college. He was fairly good looking and most women liked the way he looked. But two minutes after meeting him they realized how much of an a**hole he was and wanted nothing to do with him. Those women, immediately became unattractive and ugly in his eyes. If Salma Hayek had dissed him, he would have called her a hag.

 

The way you write pretty much reminds me of the way he spoke. Have fun trolling.

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It's been my general experience that people are more often avoided because they can't carry on an intelligent conversation, spell, punctuate, construct sentences, or otherwise present an interesting demeanor, than they are for beauty or lack thereof.

 

Alura

 

hahaha...ZING!

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carrysmith,

 

I was bored one night and read all your posts. :surrend:

 

I am trying to figure out why you are still here and why you even entertain the idea of the Swinging lifestyle.

 

Really does not seem to meet your standards in life in any fashion. :confused:

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well im far from being a man sweetheart,,im a very beautiful & attractive women..me & my husband cant have sex with some 1 just 4 the hell of it as many swingers do,if we dont find u hot & attractive,just keep on walking, we r all about quality/beautnyess & not quantity!!

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well im far from being a man sweetheart,,im a very beautiful & attractive women..me & my husband cant have sex with some 1 just 4 the hell of it as many swingers do,if we dont find u hot & attractive,just keep on walking, we r all about quality/beautnyess & not quantity!!

 

Don't forget modest and eloquent.

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im not writing this 2 offend anybody in this forum,but ive notice or at least here in south florida,thats its super hard 2 find attractive women & couples in the swinging world?...at the club we go to there are plenty of women with outstanding bodies & figures, but when it comes to the face department, they all need jesus in there lives & good facial plastic surgeon!.. and then on the other hand we will go to a reg,dance club & we see good looking,young,in shape folks all around the club..i wounder if anybody has encountered this before??

 

When I see "they all need jesus in there [sic] lives], I can't help but think "TROLL."

 

In my experience, it's harder to find couples where my wife is attracted to the man. I'm constantly in situations where I am interested in the woman but my wife has no interest in the guy.

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Some clubs just cater to beautiful people and require screening, do you have that type of club in the area? There is one in Michigan but I've never checked it out, I worry about arrogance and I'd rather not get laid than hang out with arrogant people.

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Hmmm... We've not had that problem. But like Alura said, it might be more than looks that will get a person a fun time. It takes a lot more than looks to get us to notice a person.

 

Sometimes a person not need look any farther than their own mirror to really see where the problem lies.

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Some clubs just cater to beautiful people and require screening, do you have that type of club in the area? There is one in Michigan but I've never checked it out, I worry about arrogance and I'd rather not get laid than hang out with arrogant people.

 

We've been to parties that require screening. There were more younger couples like us, but few people who were interested in actual play. Arrogance didn't seem to be the problem. Our issue at that particular club is that a lot of the people who go are just there for the show. We payed attention to the crowd, and most of them didn't play with anybody. At regular clubs, we have trouble finding couples where my wife likes the guy, but the people are nicer. Pick you poison. For us, we prefer regular clubs. There are usually one or two other couples that interest us both.

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Arrogance didn't seem to be the problem.

 

That's nice hear! It just seems like so many ask us if we've been there and they seem arrogant to me. Almost like saying, "we're good enough to get in there so we must be hot".

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belive or not,even tho miami is a huge city we only have 1 swingers club here called miamivelvet,they use 2 screen & be very selective 4yrs ago & the quality of members was top of the line,it was very upscale & lots of 30somthing very attractive folks, as the economy went down there went there high standards as well..everybody with low self esteem assumes that beautifull-attractive people/couples r arrogant,,no we r not, many goodlooking people r lonelyer,than ugly people, becuse ither everybody thinks they r in a relashionship cuse there so good looking or they think they r stuck up..we humans we love to jugde & stereo type at 1st sight...

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belive or not,even tho miami is a huge city we only have 1 swingers club here called miamivelvet,they use 2 screen & be very selective 4yrs ago & the quality of members was top of the line,it was very upscale & lots of 30somthing very attractive folks, as the economy went down there went there high standards as well..everybody with low self esteem assumes that beautifull-attractive people/couples r arrogant,,no we r not, many goodlooking people r lonelyer,than ugly people, becuse ither everybody thinks they r in a relashionship cuse there so good looking or they think they r stuck up..we humans we love to jugde & stereo type at 1st sight...

 

I'm confused. You say in 2009 that you were members for 8 months at that point, now you're talking about how you've been members there for 4 years? Doesn't add up.

 

I share the same bafflement of Vegas Lee. Based on your posting history I have no idea why you're still pursuing swinging. It's been nothing but negativity from you about it.

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Carry ! We miss yo face. Pun intended :) Perhaps you should just search for people on FaceBook, instead of spending money on clubs and INTERNET sites ?

 

Seems like a simple solution....

 

Just trying to help,

Fun~

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Wow! I said possibly shallow as a result of reading the first post. After viewing the follow-up posts, shallow is pretty much an understatement. I'd add semi-literate, arrogant, self-absorbed, and socially retarded. I'd suggest you go to an upscale Miami clothing store and date a mannequin couple. That way, all you plastic people can have fun together.

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I've been around for a while and have found that soon after we lose our firm bodies, our "good looks" aren't long for this world, either. Therefore, I've made it a point to not dwell on these things when seeking partners for fear that my potential playmates might be tempted to do so, as well.;)

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belive or not,even tho miami is a huge city we only have 1 swingers club here called miamivelvet,they use 2 screen & be very selective 4yrs ago & the quality of members was top of the line,it was very upscale & lots of 30somthing very attractive folks, as the economy went down there went there high standards as well..everybody with low self esteem assumes that beautifull-attractive people/couples r arrogant,,no we r not, many goodlooking people r lonelyer,than ugly people, becuse ither everybody thinks they r in a relashionship cuse there so good looking or they think they r stuck up..we humans we love to jugde & stereo type at 1st sight...

 

We don't seem to have the same problem when we're down at our place in se Florida. We've met quite a few very good looking couples in our limited efforts. But, I doubt we're looking in the same age groups. Perhaps you should go the online route and screen out those that don't meet your standards before you contact them. Sounds like Craigslist is where you ought to be looking. Good luck.

 

Brett

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I've felt like posting a similar thread, but just could not find a "nice" way to do it. We are 51 and 50 and we are in average shape. We have found some great and attractive playmates, but many of the couples we encounter online or in pserons, the guy half just does not do it for my wife. We're not looking for models, but just people in decent shape. Many times I feel the swinging world is full of very attractive women, but the men just don't measure up the same way.

 

And I have noticed that in vanilla settings, the level of attractiveness is much higher, though a very unscientific study!

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Wow! I said possibly shallow as a result of reading the first post. After viewing the follow-up posts, shallow is pretty much an understatement. I'd add semi-literate, arrogant, self-absorbed, and socially retarded. I'd suggest you go to an upscale Miami clothing store and date a mannequin couple. That way, all you plastic people can have fun together.

 

I wish I had a like button to push.

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i agree with (exploring RM)...its so hard 2 find an attractive couple in general..most of the time the girl looks way better than the guy,but yet the husband wants a gorgeous 22yr old model to play with,good luck it doesnt happen that way!..most men in swinging r such shaby dressers and un kepted,there hairy, fat, beer bellys,out of shape yuck!..any swingers club its basically a meat market,u have 2 look attractive , presentable & have high standards ,if u want to be noticed by the beautiful couples/crowd..u have to know how to market ur self anywere u go in life if u want to get what u want...at the club ive seen the same ugly/fat/old/unattractive couples passing back & forth and nobody pass attention to them,well at least no one that good good anyways,,why is that ?becuse they r ugly and/or dont know how 2 market them selves...if u want to play,have fun,have sex,associate with beautifull,young attractive people/couples..u have to be that the same way,,,and i thing most swingers dont have is high standards & being selective..i have no respect 4 that!

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This thread is kind of like the Jerry Springer show.

 

You don't look for it but if you see it when flipping through the channels you have to stop and watch for a bit. :lol:

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I've felt like posting a similar thread, but just could not find a "nice" way to do it. We are 51 and 50 and we are in average shape. We have found some great and attractive playmates, but many of the couples we encounter online or in pserons, the guy half just does not do it for my wife. We're not looking for models, but just people in decent shape. Many times I feel the swinging world is full of very attractive women, but the men just don't measure up the same way.

 

And I have noticed that in vanilla settings, the level of attractiveness is much higher, though a very unscientific study!

 

Does the fact that we live near one another and agree with you mean anything?

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Not 2 B a dick, but could u plz spk english?

 

Texting will be the death of the English languish-oops-LOL!

 

;)

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Not 2 B a dick, but could u plz spk english?

 

Texting will be the death of the English languish-oops-LOL!

 

;)

 

Textspeak is the new ebonics.

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Not 2 B a dick, but could u plz spk english?

 

Texting will be the death of the English languish-oops-LOL!

 

;)

 

Lol, I was thinking the same thing. It's one thing to read it in a texting format, but I dont care for reading a paragraph of it when there is enough characters to allow real words! It really shows the age of the writer/texter. Kinda unattractive and hard to take seriously... :rollseye:

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most of the time the girl looks way better than the guy,but yet the husband wants a gorgeous 22yr old model to play with,good luck it doesnt happen that way!

 

So, the girl is hot and the guy is unattractive. It obviously happens that way, why shouldn't he want an attractive girl when they're swinging? He already landed a hot girl ;)

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I think it takes all kinds of folks to make the world go around. We often hear that the population of active swingwers is a representative subset of society as a whole. The good news is, wherever you fall on the general attractiveness scale there's someone out there that is likely to find you attractive. The other side of that coin is that some folks will at the same time find you unattractive.

 

If you want to find different folks, look in a different place.

 

We've been mostly satisfied in what we've found.

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Did anyone get a good view of the "super moon" last night ?

 

Carry, I noticed you post allot more on the lunar full moon cycle. Do you think it effects your emotions ?

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That's nice hear! It just seems like so many ask us if we've been there and they seem arrogant to me. Almost like saying, "we're good enough to get in there so we must be hot".

 

In my experience, you could interpret the same behavior to either arrogance or inexperience/curiousity/ or voyeurism. Some of us are naturals for this stuff, others aren't.

 

Let me break it down very bluntly. My wife and I know that we are hot, and we are mostly interested in couples of similar hotness. Not because of ego - because of attraction. If you look like you are 35 or less, fit, and attractive, you are in the minority in the lifestyle. My wife is 10 years younger than me and very fit. I'm 38, but you would never guess I more than early 30's. I'm actually open to a variety of different women (including older ones), but my wife isn't attracted to guys who are obviously "middle aged" or to "soccer moms" or overweight people her age. It's not that she's shallow. She's not that she's a snob. It is what it it is. If you disagree, well. more power to you. She knows that in a few years, we will be right there with that crowd. Standards will adjust accordingly. But for now, she wants to be with people who are more similar to us. And yes, we try to find parties that might offer more choices for people in our own age group.

 

Much Patience required, sometimes,

 

S

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Aperntaly alot of people think beauty is in the eyes of the beholder( i dont personally belive in that, beauty is 1 thing & unglynes is somthing we all hate,unless ur ugly)..then y is the whole world obsesed with being thin,tall, blond,blue eyes,young & especially being white!!...would any magazine,movie,adult film etc sell if everybody in it was fat,ugly,old & black??..i dont think so..if u wanted 2 hire a personal trainer & he was old,fat & out of shape would u hire him?..99% of us wouldnt,unfortunately the world judges us by what they see..

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You can't possibly be for real. I mean, you must be pulling our collective legs, right? No one could be that intentionally ignorant and blatantly stupid.....could they? Please tell us all you're actually bright and literate and are just having a little fun. Also, please don't tell us that you're a product of public education in Florida. If you are and I show this post to Mrs Doc, she may commit suicide from the shame.

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Aperntaly alot of people think beauty is in the eyes of the beholder( i dont personally belive in that, beauty is 1 thing & unglynes is somthing we all hate,unless ur ugly)..then y is the whole world obsesed with being thin,tall, blond,blue eyes,young & especially being white!!...would any magazine,movie,adult film etc sell if everybody in it was fat,ugly,old & black??..i dont think so..if u wanted 2 hire a personal trainer & he was old,fat & out of shape would u hire him?..99% of us wouldnt,unfortunately the world judges us by what they see..

 

4|\|D j3$U$ \/\/3P7

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4|\|D j3$U$ \/\/3P7

 

I just wept; I actually understood that.

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why do u say that about alabama? is there alot of ugly " colored "swingers??..becuse here in miami we have all sorts of colors running around..

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why do u say that about alabama? is there alot of ugly " colored "swingers??..becuse here in miami we have all sorts of colors running around..

 

I don't know how you manage it, but every time you open your mouth you make yourself even more obnoxious. If this is the way that you present yourself in person, I'm not surprised that you seem to have trouble being successful swingers.

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why do u say that about alabama? is there alot of ugly " colored "swingers??..becuse here in miami we have all sorts of colors running around..

 

If we say yes, will you stay away?

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Define "attractive". What may be unattractive to you is absolutely drop-dead gorgeous to someone else. So such a question is totally subjective and can not really be answered by anyone but yourself.

 

LScribbens (aka Mr. WS)

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beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is also only skin deep but being an ass is all the way to the bone.

 

So well said.

Personally I like personality and character. I have seen many who have little character or are copies of what is seen on the teley.

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Please someone tell me she is not real!!! What a self-centered biggot. Never have I met a more ugly person...Are you sure you can swing? I'm sure you can't get away from a mirror long enough! In one thing you are right though, I do look for quality... Quality in a personality, it's not age, it's not looks, it's not height, it's that the person can carry a conversation and has some kind of depth to them...You need to find a life and preferably do it somewhere else.

 

sunie

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im not writing this 2 offend anybody in this forum,but ive notice or at least here in south florida,thats its super hard 2 find attractive women & couples in the swinging world?...at the club we go to there are plenty of women with outstanding bodies & figures, but when it comes to the face department, they all need jesus in there lives & good facial plastic surgeon!.. and then on the other hand we will go to a reg,dance club & we see good looking,young,in shape folks all around the club..i wounder if anybody has encountered this before??

 

v always wonder the same thing!

itz real hard!

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    • By sunbuckus
      I have heard from several members here that the more they get to know a couple, the less they want to have sex with them. Maybe we just haven't been fortunate enough to get to know a couple that well that it reaches that point or maybe I'm not wired that way. Or perhaps there's something else in play (like maybe they meant in terms of seeing them pick their nose or exhibit an unbecoming personality trait). However, for myself, I have found that the more we talk and get to know a couple, the more comfortable I feel with them and I'm more interested in engaging with them in sex. In fact, finding more about other couples almost endears them to me. I know that sounds too intimate but the more I get to know a person, the more I care about them as a person and their well-being. Even if we witness something that is a turn-off, it's even more of a reminder to me that they aren't perfect...not some unattainable, flawless couple who sits on their lofty pedestal.
       
      Is this feeling felt more in those who are open to poly or is it not poly-specific? Is the desire of not wanting to know too much about another couple a "protective barrier" so feelings won't develop? Is it just the mindset that swinging is for sex and nothing else so everything outside of that is irrelevant? Or am I just looking too much into this? Please share your thoughts on the matter!
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