My hubby and I have been in the lifestyle for about 6 months now, and we have played with 2 other couples. We have exchanged emails with many others, and met quite a few through online contacts, off premise dances and a local club.
We don't have a lot of time to devote to the lifestyle, due to family and other social obligations.
We are finding it very difficult to find couples where there is a 4 way connection, and it is becoming pretty frustrating.
Part of the problem is my hubby and I have differing ideas of who/what we are looking for. He seeks people that are very similar to us, in age, interests, looks, socioeconomic status, etc. I tend to be attracted to people who are very different from us. I find myself attracted to much younger guys, (we are in our late 40's) who are somewhat edgy. He does not care for younger women, and usually rejects my picks as "too scary".
We are a little above average in the looks department, and for me physical attractiveness is very important, ( though an attractive, outgoing personality can go a long way towards getting me to overlook any physical flaws!). He tends to gravitate towards people who are less attractive, claiming they are "more interesting."
Since entering the lifestyle was my idea in the first place, and he was resistant to the idea at first, I have always given him veto power, and even "took one for the team" with our first couple, even though I wasn't attracted to the other guy. (Something we both regret, and vow never to let happen again)
Now he is a very enthusiastic participant, and is pushing me to try and find more couples for us to meet. I'm getting frustrated, because we can't seem to agree on what we are looking for.
I'm considering suggesting we play seperately in the club/house party environment. I'm not sure if this would be a good solution, or make the situation even worse, and risk damaging our relationship.
Anybody else have this issue?