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Who knows that you swing?

For active swingers: Who knows about it outside the community?  

207 members have voted

  1. 1. For active swingers: Who knows about it outside the community?

    • nobody
      77
    • a few close friends
      97
    • most friends
      9
    • nearly everybody we know
      7
    • we are no active swingers yet
      17
    • Some Family
      7


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Do they know you swing? If yes, how did they find out? If no, are you purposely keeping it a secret?

 

Ours don't, we're keeping it a secret.

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Nope! Our family doesn't know & never will! Personally I don't think it is any of there business.

 

I can just see hubby's parents finding out! They are older & EXTREMLEY religious! They would die!

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One of my sisters knows that we were thinking about it. She is older, wiser and the sort that won't remember stuff you say ten minutes later. So, I asked her advice. We haven't talked about it since we have been involved.

 

Mrs Spoomonkey's mom knows - which was sort of weird. Mrs Spoomonkey can't lie to her mom and so the cat was wrestled out of the bag on Christmas at our house. Her mom found Mrs Spoomonkey's stash of Penthouse Letters, thumbed through it and, in enlightened fashion, admitted that she had fantasies of group encounters. Mrs Spoomonkey went beet red and after much prodding, eventually spilled the beans. Now we are comfortable talking about it with her - and she is always full of questions...

 

Mrs Spoomonkey is also planning on telling her best friend over lunch the next time they get together... I've tried, but can't deter her. But - I did tell her that if she is interested, she'd be a great way to explore the MFF fantasy that I have slowly developed. :D

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My best friend knows. She's my very best friend and it was important that she knows me and knows about things that are important in my life. She's very non-judgemental and that is why we make such good friends.

 

My mom doesn't know but that's not to say I wouldn't tell her. Mom and I have a very close relationship. One time out of no where a few years ago we were talking very frankly with each other and like girl friends and she said she always thought she was bi but never had the courage to find out. One time I ran across a magazine under their bed called "Michigan Connection". I asked her about it that night and she told me dad always wanted to get into swinging but she didn't think she would really enjoy it. I would never deny it if she asked, I can't lie to my mom. She knows I've had bi experiences, I've always been honest with her about it. She's the most understanding person, the best mom a girl could have. I could tell her just about anything...if the timing was right.

 

My sister probably wouldn't think anything of it but we aren't close enough to divulge that kind of information.

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I have a close friend who knows and My sis knows. I tell her too much ( according to her anyway) so it was just something i brought up one day. Was kinda funny though, I said something about a girlfriend she smarted off and I said "YUP, It is that kinda girlfriend"....she was speechless for a bit then came the 20 questions as to did my hubby know...to OMG. you two do what?? lol but she is cool about it. I am the wild one in the family so she wasnt surprised to much by it. The rest of my family will NEVER know!! lol they would freak as would alot of my friends. Hubbies friends and family have no clue!

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My brother knows. I discussed it with him after our first encounter. We have a very close relationship and discuss everything with eachother. He has no problem with it and has even had many experiences himself.

 

My husband had similar conversations with his brother, seems he's played too.

 

Our -very- close friends know as well. We're lucky enough to have a few friends that we can be blatantly honest with about every aspect of our lives, as they can be with us. Like I mentioned in a previous post, one of our vanilla friends isn't so vanilla anymore. ;)

 

I would DIE if my kids found out. We have a teen daughter with the investigational skills of Sherlok Holmes. That gives me the heebie-jeebies. :eek:

 

So we are staying in the closet.

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I do not have any family. Our kids know and Laura's family knows we are in the lifestyle. So do all our friends even though most of them are now in the Lifestyle also.

 

I have been in the "adult" business for 24 years so we felt it was better to tell family what we did for a living and lifestyle so they would not think we where drug dealers. :D

 

Since we write articles for magazines and newspapers and end up on T.V. and Radio would be even harder for us to hide it.

 

Our personal belief is the only things in life that hurt people are things that are hidden or untrue so we don't hide or lie.

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Her family has a strict don't ask don't tell pollicy. My family if they ask I would tell them. We have a few close friends that want to know everything (probably closet lifestylers) after we come home from a trip. We have to be very discrete though living in the bible belt and all.

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None of our families know and we want it that way. We have never told any of our friends either however one evening at a sex toy party thrown by our vanilla friends the host asked if there were any swingers in the room and a couple of our friends pointed at us. Oooops!

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My whole family knows, thanks to one of my sisters betraying my trust. We've always talked with each other about everything, but for some reason she had to tell the whole family. :mad:

 

Both of his brothers know, but they have all always been close....and all three swing.

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A couple of our (vanilla) friends know, and they are discreet. As for family, they don't know and we aren't about to volunteer the information. We suspect that our younger daughter suspects, but we think she has decided to keep quiet rather than learn more than she would want to.

 

Curiously, our son has mentioned threesomes to us before, but in the context of him, his girlfriend and A.N. Other. We think he was looking for advice, but we were somewhat non-committal!

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I don't have any family (except my daughter who does not know) and his family all live out of state and we are not close with them so none of the family knows.

 

I have told one of my girlfriends hoping that it might lead her to join us but then decided I wasn't sure i wanted to cross the line between friendship and sexual partner so have not pursued it with her. None of our other friends know.

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Thanks for asking that question. We have had so much fun with our lifestyle that at times we have felt compelled to share it with our regular friend but held back. I'm glad we did. It is something we do in private. I don't think we would like it if one of our regular friends shared with us their passion for whips, electrodes, or golden showers just because they thought it was a blast. So, we'll keep our private life private!

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Female member:

I told my sister I discovered I was bi...w/o going into detail. ;) But, as far as the swinging aspect? No, we'd never tell anyone about that. This is our own private thing between the 2 of us and we'd like to keep it that way :cool:

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My wife's family know, not that we wanted them to. When my wife graduated from her LPN class her parents and brother came down to see it. We invited our best friends in the lifestyle to the celebration afterward. My wife's brother asked me how we had met them, and without thinking i said on the internet. Well, it appears he discussed this answer with her parents, and since they were/are thinking of moving to our general area the next day mife wife went to look at some property with them. They asked her some probing questions then...and basically my wife asked them back "do you really want to discuss this"....that was all the info they needed to know. On the other hand, i think my Sister suspects...but no one else in my family as far as i know has a clue. Also, we aren't shy about telling "non-lifestyle" friends

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Our oldest daughter(20yrs) has known since she was 16 (long story LOL!).as for family,my parents are long gone and i dont have much contact with brothers or sisters Mrs Bates family lives on the other side of the country so no...they dont know,although i beleive they suspect something is up with us!!

 

My coworker and best friend for years knows and through his big mouth most other coworkers know but nobody has come out and asked directly,they just like to drop hints!! I would tell them if they asked though because we are not ashamed of who we are!!!

 

I would suspect some "vanilla" friends know also because when we hit a local bar with a couple we are swinging with we can get carried away :lol:

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Let's just put it like this: all four of our parents would be more understanding and sympathetic if we crashed their car into the side of their house, left a carton of dead cod in the attic to rot, and smeared baby lamb's blood all over the walls on the way out.

 

So the answer would be no.

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The dog knows...but she's not talking. :lol:

 

Nobody else in our families knows anything at all.

 

We've told a couple of our friends. One, who is more my friend (since high school), has always been sexually open, but apparently her husband is not. She shared the news with him and she said not to expect an invitation to visit anytime soon. Perhaps he'll change his mind, but who knows?

 

Our other friend is cool with it, but says it does not interest her. We still get invited to her house. ;)

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My parents know and so do all of our friends. Our friends all know that Im bi too since msot of our friends are bi as well. My parents are in the lifestyle as well which i comfrimed when they found out that we are too. His parents on the other hand its dont ask dont tell kind of thing. His parents would go nuts if they every found out... lol

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The only person in our families who knows is her brother, and he ain't telling anyone.

 

He's from a very religious family. (Younger brother just graduated from a bible college to become a minister.) So with us, we deffinatly don't want his family knowing, and for that matter her family knowing either, we would be disowned in a heartbeat, and especially by his parents would be asked, what kind of role models are we being to our kids. Our kids don't know, mainly because they are young enough not to understand it.

 

But do we want our families to know, HELL NO!!!

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Well, let's see...my best friend knows I told her after she asked if I had ever had a threesome, couldn't lie to her so told her yes. She was asking because she wanted to explore it. Since then her and her husband are also in the lifestyle and yes...we have played with them :facelick:

 

Surprisingly quite a few of the men that Ted works with know. He did not tell all of them, but did tell a couple of them. One of his work buddies brought it up in general conversation one day that his wife and one of her friends were constantly teasing him about a threesome...the conversation took a natural course towards swinging and Ted admitted that we have been there done that, lol...one of them we invited to play with us...the others found out by accident.

 

It seems that while working in Tampa the guys were swapping out every two weeks staying in an apartment there...well, when it was Ted's two weeks to stay I would always go down on the weekends and stay with him...we always visited a club there and we had left the club card lying on the table. The buddy that followed Ted's weeks down there found the card and proceeded to look it up on the internet, he in turn told his brother who also works with Ted...his brother was very interested and talked to Ted about it some, as he and his wife were also interested in exploring. Ted pointed him here to the Swingers Board. We don't worry about any of them knowing as they all know how to keep things quiet.

 

I have two cousins who also know. Each one of them found ads that Ted and I have out and contacted us through them. The first cousin is quite a few years older than I am and even though him and I see each other fairly regularly at school functions neither of us has a problem with it and it's usually just a smile and a wink and we are about out business. The second cousin who knows is quite a few years younger than I...I used to babysit her...she contacted us just a couple of weeks ago.

 

That was rather funny in that Ted was the one online when she IM'd us and he was talking to her...she asked him if we lived on so-in-so road, he said yes...you've seen us in the yard? She said no, not really, but your wife's name is Teresa and then she told him our kids names...she said you don't know who I am do you and Ted said no, then she told him her name...he still did not know her as I have a rather large family and even after 24 years of being around most of them he still has not met them all, lol....he came and got me and asked if I knew who she was...yep..first cousin. Her and I chatted for a while and realized that we have been going to the same social, know some of the same people and was amazed that we have not ran into each other before. We talked about how our mothers would have a hissy fit if they knew and made plans to get up with each other at the social this weekend to get caught up on family happenings...we each though it was pretty cool. She did make a comment that she always thought I was soooo straight laced :lol:

 

Even though we try to be very discreet, it seems that more and more people in out lives are finding out... a quote from Dr. Seuss comes to mind..."Be who are you are and say what you feel, cause the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind."

 

Teresa

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Family... no.

Friends... no.

Colleagues... no.

Priests, doctors, taxi-drivers, law-enforcement types and taxidermists... no.

 

In fact, we're so discreet about it, not even we're sure if we're swinging.

 

;)

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I forgot All of the guys at mikes work know. It happened to come up in a coverstation about wifes/girlfriends being jealous jsut by them looking at another women...And he said his wife points them out to me.. So now all the guys are jealous of him. And he has one guying believing that he sleeps with 10 women every weekend.. LOL

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It seems everyone knows or suspects. My parents did it, My daughter did it, ALL my 6 siblings have done it. My sister gave her husband another women for his 30th birthday. My other sister lives with another cpl. My brother tried to talk me into it with his wife (I declined that offer for sure). I mean I deny it and they all laugh. I was accused of it even before I did it by my mother. I doubt that anyone is really keeping it as secret as they think they are. If your kids are over 16 they know or will know..and so does any adult that you hang around with. There is just something that shows..not sure what it is but its there if a person looks. Thats the trick, once the suspecion is raised its all over baby. If an adult suspects they look harder and its almost undeniable.

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my mother-in-law knows because my she and my husband have a very open relationship. she actually became rather close friends with an ex-fling of his. my parents, however, do not know. it really wouldn't surprise me too much to find out that they swing, although they both claim to not understand the lifestyle. however, i am absolutely not comfortable talking with either of them about sex, other than telling them when i think someone is hot. they do know that i've slept with other women while married, but that was a one time discussion with my mom. call me immature, but talking to my parents about sex still just grosses me out LOL

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Very good question to consider. Especially if you are new to the lifestyle. S and I are very outspoken and unapologetic people. When we agreed to extramarital sex (about 9 months ago) our approach was to be as open about it as we could be. Keeping it a secret made it feel like we were ashamed of what we were doing. :rolleyes: We figured by being proactive and open about it we would have less damage control to contend with. The exception to this was our children (2 teens and 2 toddlers) whom we do not discuss it with because we believe they are too young to fully understand the situation (judging from other posts on the board......even folks in their early 20's have a hard time with this). Here are some things that happened (cause and effect - some good / some bad) due to our approach (we believe):

 

- S runs a website for moms. In one of her members only forums she posted swinging related questions and comments. As a result a distant spiteful 19 year old cousin who joined the site to dig up dirt on Sioux, found the posts, printed them out and sent them to our eldest daughter (GRRR). Since then the eldest daughter (16) has converted to Mormonism and all but moved out of the house (no joke!). There is a lot more history behind the situation but I'm sure this didn't help matters. :nono: LESSON LEARNED: Watch what you post unanonymously online - regardless of if you think nobody will find it.

 

- I talked to my Dad about it to get his reaction. His response, "Hey thats cool. Just watch out though......its not for everybody!". Pops is groovy. :D LESSON LEARNED: You will be surprised by who will empathize with you.

 

- A then couple that we were friends with (about 9 months ago) were among the first that we shared our lifestyle with. They responded that they had checked it out and even gone to a party locally. A few months later the couple split up and went their separate ways (haven't spoken to each other in almost 6 months). S and I remained friends with both of them. The other day the male half (whom I was in a band with) was discussing a new "prospect" that he was interested in getting with. Somehow the conversation turned to his ex-girlfriend at which point he made the statement "I hope you don't have plans to go digging in my garden" meaning that I shouldn't be entertaining thoughts about having sex with his ex-girlfriend of 6 months. Somehow this seemed real "high school" to me and needless to say, we are no longer friends. :nono: LESSON LEARNED: For some....emotional ties to sex are so strong that swinging is not in their vocabulary. Even bringing it up is dangerous to your relationship with them.

 

- At a party, I pulled a friend aside to clear up a misunderstanding involving S and her flirting with men besides me. Ultimately I told him about our lifestyle. Later in the evening he turns to S (who had no idea that I had told him) and asks her in front of a group of people, "So, you wanna fuck me or what?". :nono: LESSON LEARNED: Immaturity is the standard with most people in this regard. Our new rule is we don't share with anybody that we don't both agree on before hand.

 

I have plenty more situations to share but I think you get the gist of it. As my beloved Pop always says, "Discretion is always the better part of Valor".

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For me the only ones that know are my brother and his wife (who have been swinging off and on for a few years as well), and maybe 2 very close friends.

 

Most people I would not tell, especially now that I'm back in AL. When I was in MI most of our straight friends knew but people were a little more open up there.

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Most of my friends know about my lifestyle, and some of my family knows as well. However, some of my friends chose to tell other friends who didn't know about this side of me, just this weekend, in fact, and an all-out war has since begun. Not only have I decided the friends who told are not worthy friends b/c I feel they betrayed my trust and shared something they had been told in confidentiality, but they also embarassed me, b/c the friends they told are VERY close-minded and have since judged me horribly for what I involve myself in. It's come to the point where someone I worked closely with in an independant-contractor situation has "ratted me out" to our 'employer' and he told me Friday I was not welcome in the company anymore, and didn't specifically state why, but in our discussions about my termination, it came out that he knew about my lifestyle and was disappointed in me for being a "freak" as he put it. This person works in the same office complex as my swinging partner, and I'm deathly, DEATHLY afraid he's going to take actions against my partner b/c of this, as well. He's already contacted my partner's boss (who, by the way, are totally aware of he and I doing this together and is pretty cool with it), and has threatened to "beat his head in" b/c it disgusts him that we do this together (just proves how ignorant and against this lifestyle people can be).

 

I'm hoping once I leave my office things will simmer down and everyone's life will return to normal. The people I thought of as my friends are no longer considered this, which is a shame b/c I really enjoyed having them in my life. I've definitely learned that what I do is my business, and used to think it was okay if people knew, but have, in the past three days, learned how important it is to share this information with only my partner and the people who we choose to play with. Urgh, what a mess. :sad:

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This is a very complicated issue. In the begining, my husband & I only told one friend. That soon turned into two friends when she started dating someone.

Then one night I was really, REALLY drunk and told two additional friends (by the way - all of these friends know each other AND we all work together). One of them I am not worried about, but I do regret telling the other. My husband (also works with us) later explained to me why it was not such a good idea to tell him. Now I wonder who else he has told in the office. Although the conversation has never come up again, I have no idea who knows what. I'm not worried about loosing my job because of it (although it would be a big shocker to my boss), I just feel that someone who is not trust worthy knows something about me that should be handled discretely. My lesson here, don't tell anyone that when your drunk! You're judgement is clouded :lol:

 

I told 2 of my sisters. And to be honest, they probably don't even think about it when I talk to them. I haven't told my brother or other sister, not because I'm ashamed, just because I haven't really had the chance (I talk to my other 2 sisters a LOT more than the others).

 

I would NEVER tell my dad. I was raised morman, and he is still a big time morman. Well, maybe one day when he pisses me off enough and I feel like dropping a bomb on him........

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

Tina,

 

Sorry to hear of your problems. That really sucks!

 

Posted by Tina in anther post:

Thanks everybody! I'm so thrilled to have finally experienced this after years of being on the sidelines!! Just wish I had more people I could tell!

 

Just think of all the people you can tell now!!! :lol:

 

Sorry, I hope you do not take that wrong, I'm just trying to make you smile. :)

 

 

Some of our friends know what we are up to. I know this for 2 reasons.

 

1. We invited some swinger friends out and also asked a friend that did not know ( Okay,He might have had an idea) about our wilder side.

 

Anyway the female half of the swinger couple brought the subject up not knowing he wasnt one of us.

 

No big deal I think. I think we can trust him. But just in case because of that incident we removed all face pics off of our ad.

He is cool but you know how quick word can travel.

 

2. I heard a vanilla couple we were out at a bar with one night talking and they apparently did noy know I could hear them because they were talikng about how mrs naughty & I have sex with others.

 

Not in a good way either. She was telling him not to expect her to do that kind of thing. But they are still friends, as a matter of fact mrs naughty went out with them last night, and they have never brought the subject up to us directly.

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Sorry to here about the luck Tina. If I wasn't in a different country and actually had my law degree, I think some payback would be in order for that boss. I would seek a legal help with that case though.

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Thanks for all the posts. I think the one thing we worry about is the misses parents finding out. If mine find out they do, but its not like i plan on telling them. Damn if the whole world would just get laid a little more and quit worrying about what other people do just think how much happier everyone would be.

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Damn if the whole world would just get laid a little more and quit worrying about what other people do just think how much happier everone would be.

 

:claps::claps::claps:

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Tina, you're being discriminated against and it's against the law in Illinois. You're also being sexually harassed and you don't have to put up with it if you don't want to. I hope you'll consider talking to a lawyer about it. Bigoted, self-righteous people should not be allowed to call you, or anyone else, 'freaks', or fire you for lifestyle choices that have nothing to do with your job performance. Some very smart people on this board have convinced me that if we don't stand up for our rights, we'll never have any. Please let us know how things work out for you! :)

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Hey guys, thanks for the responses about my post...I realize I'm being discriminated against, but the real issue in this is do I really want to drag myself through the mud in order to prove a point that someone can't discriminate against me? I haven't decided yet - things have quieted down a lot in the past few days, and my "employer" has asked me to return, and I'll be doing so, but already have an interview set-up with another company tomorrow, and I'll be SURE to keep my private life PRIVATE there, lol!

 

Man...who knew sex would make so many people crazy?!? Surrender

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Both of our brothers know and also a few close friends. We've managed to convert one of them! ;)

 

Other than that we're keeping under radar.

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A little off the topic, but I've been amazed for quite a while how people can be so uptight about sex and anything related to it or even about nudity and yet not be bothered much by the violence and taking of human life that is so prevelent on TV and in the movies. Seems a lot of people have some screwed up priorities.

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Tina. I fail to see how you would be dragging yourself through the mud. From what you have posted it seems as if you were pushed into the mud by someone else. Pandora's box has already been opened, and you never know who at any new company you go to work for might know about you. As Brad said. If we don't stand up for our rights we won't ever have any.

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well my sister (who is also a swinger) knows about our lifestyle and a few very close friends of mine. Which I do believe one of the couples is starting to get very curious .... they love hearing our juicy details!! :kissface:

 

But other than that we are very discreet people :lol:

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bill&sabrina said:
Tina. I fail to see how you would be dragging yourself through the mud. From what you have posted it seems as if you were pushed into the mud by someone else. Pandora's box has already been opened, and you never know who at any new company you go to work for might know about you. As Brad said. If we don't stand up for our rights we won't ever have any.

I don't want my lifestyle, any further than it already has been, to be broadcast to the general public. You're right, I could go to any company and my lifestyle may already be known about, but I live in Chicago, and the chances of me going anywhere in the city or suburbs for work and having anyone know me, let alone know of my lifestyle b/c they heard it through the grapevine, is slim to none. However, if I decided to take this man to court, it's highly likely the case would be made public once someone got wind of it, and I definitely don't need that in my life. I'll stand up for my rights by leaving the office and never returning despite his now daily attempts at convincing me I'm still welcome, that he's already "moved on" and has "forgiven me" for my choices. My partner's hired an attorney and is fighting for his rights to not be harassed due to his lifestyle choices...I myself choose to sit quietly and observe what he's going through and may decide down the road to act more on this, but for now, I'm content just finding another job.

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We've been discussing the topic of Discretion. It seems that that is something everyone expects on different levels. Is it a matter of discretion when you out yourself to your friends or family? When you combine that with the  Assumptions - if your friends or family know you swing does that then make others they see you with guilty by association? Are you then outing them without even realizing it?

 

So who knows you swing? How much about your swinging life do they know? Do you talk to your non-swinging friends about your swinging activities? Do they now know that others of your friends are swingers, because they know that you are?

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I haven't read the other topics yet... getting to it... but this one is one that hits close to home right now.

 

One of my playmates has a child who recently became of age and learned from someone that the folks swing. The child has some anger issues and has been wreaking all kinds of havoc that I won't go into here. Playmate and I cross paths through our work and one of the things playmate is very worried about is "guilt by association" falling on me because we spend lots of time together both professionally and socially.

 

Playmate is fairly "out" in that people know the couple as very open, good time party people, although the depths to which they play is not common knowledge. At this point, I'm not overly concerned... careful and aware, but not overly concerned. My biggest issue at this point would be ever being outed to family... as family members have spoken out (and not favorably!) of their feelings on the subject of swinging.

 

On a slightly different, but related note... and I read someone else mention this on another thread I read today... I do think that through my reading and research, and learning from so many here, that I'm becoming way more open, understanding and non-judgemental. Improved communication skills, to be sure. Already this has helped me professionally as well as personally in relating to others.

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

All, and I mean ALL (Ok, 99%), of our vanilla friends know what we do. None of them has ever confronted us about it and we haven't said anything. We know they know because I have heard them talk about what Mrs Naughty and I do when they didn't know I could hear them talking.

It's cool with us. They don't ask, we don't tell.

 

As far as family....

They don't have a clue.

 

Neither myself or Mrs Naughy have family that live in our area so they have no idea.

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We know they know because I have heard them talk about what Mrs Naughty and I do when they didn't know I could hear them talking.

 

So how did they find out? Did you tell one and it spread? Or did they just figure it out?

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

They figured it out.

 

We do something we probably shouldn't...but do it anyway.

 

We have a "local hangout" that we frequent at least twice a month. The bar in question is where we meet all of our vanilla freinds. We, on occasion, bring swing partners to the club with us.

 

Our vanilla friends have "figured out" that some of those we bring out with us are more than just a casual friend.

But we keep the flirting to a minimum and just have a good time with everyone there. At closing time our vanilla friends go their way and we go ours :fun:

 

But they have a good idea where we are going.... (I know because I have heard them talk ;) )

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We have a mix of friends and relatives...some know, some do not, some THINK they know what we "are up to" but really only guess and then hint at it to us so we neither deny nor confirm.

 

I'm usually the one to decide to share it with others when we do tell. No reason, other than I just enjoy talking more than Jim does.

 

Some of our friends know and just accept it. Some are curious or even interested. I dont' think any of our "friends" who know really care one way or the other as far as approving or disapproving.

 

Among our relatives that know, none give a difficult time or have ever said anything rude to us. Most of them assume a lot more than they actually know and probably guess things are much wilder than they are. Some of them only had it confirmed after we did the interview on Oprah - but they all said they "KNEW" we were into wild stuff like that! :rollseyes :lol:

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Actually I have never had an urge to tell anyone outside of the lifestyle that I am part of it.

 

In fact I have gotten pretty good at avoiding it unless directly asked, when I will always admit it.

 

After 32 years I have gotten it down to a science! lol

 

My wife thinks it pretty funny that I have a couple of friends for just about that long who have never even suspected to this day and would be shocked if they found out.

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We are positively scare sh*tless that when we finally break our cherry that somebody in this microscopic town will find out.

 

I'm (W) a professional with a growing practice. The town we live in is small, and some of the towns I work in around the area don't even qualify for their own zip codes. I can't go for coffee in the morning without bumping into clients, close business contacts or my pastor. Z is trying her best to do the Holly Hobby mommy thing, but she's active in the community choir and has made the usual "mommy contacts" with the other mom's at day care. A trip to the supermarket is like a little class reunion for our son.

 

The town, love it as much as I do, is that frelling small. :(

 

We've decided that we'd like to play outside the area - preferably in the next area code - but that that much travel would be a serious problem for us. So we're thinking that maybe an on-premises club is the way to go - there's even one 200 miles away that we both think would be nice.

 

This is actually a thread I was going to start - but since Julie was nice enough to open the door . . .

 

What has been the level of "understanding" amongst the non-family vanilla folk for you all? (If you've been on Oprah, you don't get to answer. Oprah? Were you high?!?) :eek:

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What has been the level of "understanding" amongst the non-family vanilla folk for you all? (If you've been on Oprah, you don't get to answer. Oprah? Were you high?!?) :eek:

 

Hey hey!! NO...I was NOT high! :sad:

 

You have to understand...we have lots of reasons for doing that. Among them, being active in Lifestyle support groups like National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and a strong belief in our rights to do as we please in private. Professionally it's actually NOT a problem as we publicize ourselves as a lifestyle oriented business as well..we do accounting for lifestyle business owners! ::P:

 

Aside from that, the only people who actually found out because of Oprah were family...our friends knew long before Oprah, so I CAN answer that question! :kissface:

 

Our friends have been the least judgemental, however, we've chosen to tell only ones we didn't THINK would over react. Of course, you can always choose wrong in that case, but it worked out for us.

 

They are rather wide eyed whenever it comes up...and other times, I think they like to live vicariously through our adventures - not that we kiss and tell, but we talk in general about parties, Hedo trips, conventions, etc.

 

None of our friends have turned out to be "scared" of us or of our attacking their spouse while their back is turned either! :lol:

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So who knows you swing?

Most of our close friends know and our brothers do too.

How much about your swinging life do they know?

They know we have an openminded marriage that lacks jealousy and they know we have a lot of fun together. What they don't know is the who, what, when and where.

Do you talk to your non-swinging friends about your swinging activities? Do they now know that others of your friends are swingers, because they know that you are?

When we first started, I told my girlfriends pretty much everything (except names). They were more excited than we were, I think. :lol:

 

Nobody knows who we play with. We keep that hush-hush. Of course they always assume anyone new with us are swingers too.

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