Girlfriend doesn't mind same room sex but...

I've been with my now Girlfriend for six months and we totally love each other.

I've shared with her my fantasies around swinging and the lifestyle and we even watched some movies and episodes of Playboy TV swing, etc.

After some thought she said swinging and sharing goes against her values of being a committed couple.

I said that's fine and I understand. But I asked her if she would be ok with same room sex with another couple in the same room and/or bed. She said she will be fine with that.

Is that a good sign? And should I pursue the plan?

Is that a good sign? And should I pursue the plan?

Sign of what? She said she wasn't ok with swinging. So, she isn't ok with swinging and you need to accept that.

nitro2u2 said:

I've been with my now Girlfriend for six months and we totally love each other.

I'm guessing this a different girlfriend than the one in your thread from 9 months ago?

Gf wants to have one night stands

I'd take current girlfriend at her word that she is not interested in swinging but might be comfortable with same bed sex.

Yessir. Diff gf

Thank you for taking the time. What you say makes sense.

I shouldn't get to greedy or try to make it a 'trap'. Just enjoy what we have both agreed to for now.

How do you recommend we find a suitable couple to do this with? (We aren't in the US)

Ideally we meet a couple during holiday with whom we can do it with.... but what are the changes of that happening! Sigh

It sounds like you are more interested in finding someone to swing with than a life partner. If that is the case, you need to look elsewhere than trying to 'convert' vanilla women to your cause. Swinging REQUIRES serious commitment: love, trust, communication. Six months does not make a serious commitment, it is usually still in the NRE stage. Either try to find a woman already into swinging (usually a 'unicorn' - a single woman into swinging...good luck) or find a woman, establish a LONG TERM relationship and MAYBE 10 years down the road suggest swinging to her. If she's game, you're good, if not, start over.

Thanks! Interesting ... if you are swinging already, did you wait 10 years before bringing it up yourself?

Thanks! Interesting ... if you are swinging already, did you wait 10 years before bringing it up yourself?

I think my wife and I had been married about 5 years before we started seriously exploring the idea of swinging. We'd both gone into our relationship knowing that neither of us considered monogamy to be a necessary feature of our relationship, but it was still years in before we seriously explored that. Which isn't to say there was conscious decision to wait 5 years. Actually, a few opportunities came and went earlier in our relationship, but we never quite had the communication or the comfort level to really go after those opportunities. It took time, things evolved naturally and now here we are.

I don't think it is sign that she is going to be interested in the swing lifestyle if that is what you are asking! She already said it is not how she feels about being in a committed couple. That is her choice to make. Unless she on her own now brings swinging up without your encouragement I doubt her feelings about it are going to change. If you keep bringing it up her feelings about you being the guy she see's as that committed partner may also change.

It sounds like her agreeing to have same room sex with another couple there is more her trying to find a compromise to make you happy! If she is only going to do it to make you happy and not for her own enjoyment it will probably not be a great experience for anyone. If she is wanting to do it for herself too you shouldn't have a problem finding others with the same interest. We see people with profiles online all the time that are only looking for same room no swap sex.

I'm going to be very frank here but.. if my husband wasn't as enthusiastic as I am about exhibitionism and non-monogamy, I'd probably back off and forget about it. The thought of my husband going to the club with me because he felt he had to makes me feel ill. I know he didn't and we had a great time, but it really sounds like she's "taking one for the team" right now. In your shoes I'd stop pushing and just honor that she's not ok with non-monogamy.