Pressure to swing at clubs?

Well, my wife and I are talking about swinging again.

We are thinking of heading to a swing club in Montreal on a couples night. We are thinking about taking in the scene and a little bit of exhibitionism. My wife and I are both on board with the whole thing, but we want to take it slow.

My question. How much pressure is there to swing? Are people generally respectful? My wife and I both want to have sex in front of other people, but we are not quite ready to swap or add a partner yet.

Also, anyone been to Club l'orage in Montreal?

Thanks!!

I will start by saying that I have not been to the club you mentioned, so what I'm going to say is based instead on our general experiences at seven other lifestyle clubs in the US.

There is no pressure to play. You should be able to feel safe that you will not be hounded or pressured by people. You might have people come over to say hello and engage in conversation with you, and you may even have polite invitation to play extended to you. But if you're not interested, a polite "no thank you" should be enough.

People will be respectful, because they want others to be respectful back. You should not have any unwanted touching, and in our experience, people ask before they touch or escalate things, even in the playrooms.

If the club has a group play area, you should be able to play there so that other can watch. Again, you may get some people asking if they can join, but people will get your permission before they touch you.

If this club does not happen to have a group playroom, you might still be able to have people watching by leaving the playroom door open. Be aware, though, that people often see an open door as a sign that you're looking for company, so you may get more requests from people to come in, and more requests to join in the frolicking. As always, a polite "no thank you" should be enough!

When you're talking to people at the club, feel free to volunteer that you're new, and just looking to see and be seen this time. Maybe you'll find another nice couple willing to share a room with you, and see the show while they put on a show for you!

Most people in the L/S are extremely respectful. I would not be worried about going...unless you go on a night or to a club that allow single men (some clubs don't ever allow single men to attend, others limit it to a certain night). Since it is much more difficult for single men to find play partners, they tend to be more aggressive. I would make sure that whatever night you visit, it isn't one of those nights. Other than that, I suspect that you will be amazed and surprised with your visit. Please let us know how it went.

Actually, in a couple of the clubs I've been in, people are reluctant to play until you've been there a couple of times. As everyone else has said, most people are super respectful.

Thanks for the responses!

Go with the goal of just having a good time and if anything more happens: Bonus! As Adamgunn pointed out, you may have to ask if you want anything to happen since most people will give newbies space until they have been there a few times. When are you planning on going (and don't forget to report back)?

That sounds like a great plan! We are planning on going in the next few weeks. Have to plan ahead a little!

Also, we are planning on dressing kind of smart casual. Should my wife plan on bringing any other fun sexy clothes for the play room? Is that common?

The most common thing is to bring sexy clothes to change into when you arrive at the club. You might wear the sexy clothes around the club, at the bar, on the dance floor, etc. If your club works like the other clubs we've attended, the costume of choice for the playroom is... nothing!

What they said

Ah. Makes sense!

One more newbie question... And kind of a stupid one. Where do you put your clothes and other items (wallet, etc..) while in the play room? Also, is lube provided or should we bring our own?

Thanks again!

Most upscale clubs have locker rooms or at least lockers available. Even so, we seldom bring more than tip money and a low limit credit card into even the best of clubs such as Trapeze in Ft Lauderdale, TPA in MD or TJ's in Pa. One of the best club investments you can buy is a "man skirt". I have a terry wrap with velcro and a pocket where I can carry condoms and lube, although we've never actually needed the lube, the erotic sights and sounds of the play rooms have so far made lube unnecessary. We've also found that bringing sandals or flip flops is a good idea for both of you. Walking around a play area in the dark is a bit dicey sometimes. Nothing worse than stepping on a used and full condom in bare feet. Yuk!!

Well, we have a date set! September 16th. We are both excited and nervous all the same. Thanks for the tips and wish us luck!

Good Luck!

Good luck and let us know how things went.

Good luck!

Any update yet?