Wife looking for advice and support

Hello all,I am Linda. 29 years old living in Florida, my husband is 27. We have been together for 7 years married for 5 and have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. We have just recently decided to expand our horizons. I have always been attracted to other woman but always kept it to myself. My husband and I had a break through conversation a week or so ago regarding our desires and fantasies and have decided to try and invite a woman into our bedroom. We are so excited just talking about it but I am so lost where to being to find her. We are both overweight and working to become the next couple success story. So our insecurities are also over shadowing finding someone that would enjoy us. Any advice or kind words to help me through would be so much appreciated. I feel like a teenager again just discovering sex.

My wife and I had a break-through conversation eleven years ago. Our first success did not happen until a year after this conversation. It happened through swingers' Web sites but in retrospect we would not recommend this path to newcomers. What are you and your husband planning for your first steps?

First of all, keep this newfound line of communication open. If nothing else ever happens, it alone will improve your relationship (as I'm sure you are already experiencing). Second, there are every 'type' of person involved in swinging (and most of them have body image insecurities of some type). Use this as motivation to work towards becoming healthier, but also don't allow this to become an excuse. There are every type of person here and usually they can find someone who is looking for someone just like they are. It just takes time and effort, so don't let this be your excuse. Instead, keep talking and planning and when you are both ready, take that next step and start looking. Finding a single woman is not going to be easy (they are called unicorns because they are almost as hard to find) but you won't ever find one if you don't look.

Welcome! We hope you have many wonderful adventures. As was said above, it is difficult to find a single female at all let alone one that is compatible with both of you and you to her. Single men are easy to find! A compatible couple will be somewhere in the middle.

Start slow. Look for soft couples that have a bi flexible female and you may get the best results. Remember you are very young and have the rest of your lives to explore so don't push things and end up with a bad taste in your mouths...

If you are unhappy with your appearance or weight, it is a great motivation to do something about it. That said, overweight people don't seem to be left out.

We have met single women at clubs or events. You will need to be outgoing and proactive. There are far fewer single women than couples or single guys, but they are actually quite easy to get to know and play with if you reach out. The nice thing is that she makes her own decisions and is there to play, so it's not as complicated as a couple where all four have to be on the same page. A club is also a good situation because it's more anonymous, you don't have to exchange numbers and you won't be bringing a stranger to your home.

I would start by creating an online profile on a swinger site that is popular in your area. Find out what clubs and events are available. Oftentimes clubs have bi-girl nights where you might find a single girl or a married girl looking for just girl girl play.

I think when looking for singles it's a good idea to know what you have in mind as far as a relationship with the person especially if you are meeting people through websites. Do you picture an ongoing thing or one time? Will she have your husband's number or just yours? Some singles just want sexual experiences, some are looking for a boyfriend. Everyone we've met has been upfront with what they are looking for when we've asked.

As far as your weight, there are many single girls who are plus-size and most likely would be happy to play with you. Some clubs even have BBW (big, beautiful women) events.

If you are anywhere near Tampa or Orlando look into club relate. They are a bunch of people who won't give two hoots or a holler as to your looks or weight. They are extremely courteous and since they don't allow booze or drugs everyone is in control of themselves and respectful.