Afraid that we will let swinging get out of hand

Hey guys, we're a couple and we've been together a year. We trust each other, but we're also very dirty minded. We keep an open mind and share our fantasies openly with each other, however we just keep it in the mind and never took steps to take things into reality.

I've noticed with time fantasies went more and more wild and we wouldn't get off if we weren't pushing it further and further, to the point that we had to stop to regain some sensitivity, so to say.

With that said, I still fantasize about her sucking cock while I take her, having a pussy in my mouth while she rides me, or her being taken from behind while shes sucking me. In fact it makes my cock rock hard every time.

But I have this feeling of going to a place one can't go back from, like once you open that door it's open for good, so I wanted to hear you guys experiences - how was it for you, how did you deal with it, did it get out of your hands? I think I'd like to have it as one has a heavy dessert, sparingly, every once in a while, but I'm way more self controlled than she is, in every other aspect of life.

Anyways any advice or stories would be very welcome!

I see that you are new to Swingersboard so I first want to say, WELCOME to the board.

My wife and I have pulled back from an activity or a shared fantasy on more than one occasion. As long as we go into something having a mutual agreement that it will be fun and worthwhile, we have always always been able to back out. There are times when we progressed into an activity in small measures followed by progressively larger measures. But we more typically take big leaps and we leap without fear having confidence that if things go wrong, we will still have the esteem of each other.

I suspect that your reluctance has little to do self-control or lack of self-control but, rather, one or the other of you being not completely convinced that something is a good idea.

If for some reason we totally stopped swinging, there would be some disappointment but not like losing something you can't live without. Your dessert analogy is a good one; sure, you would miss never having dessert again the rest of your life, but it's not a make or break thing.

What we could never go back on is the sexually open mindset and the communication. That will always be in us now no matter what, and when it comes to the communication, it effects in a very positive way how we talk about and decide all of those things that make up a life shared together.

Two things that give me a little concern in your post are that you've only been together a year, and that already your sex life sounds like it needs to go further and further to be satisfying and exciting. Swinging successfully takes a skill set that a lot of new couples haven't developed yet. That's not meant to be a negative comment, because we certainly didn't have those skills then either. I think it's just one of those "practice makes perfect" things, so the longer you are together, likely the better you get at solving issues, and swinging will present some issues, it's a given. So, my advice there is to be sure and take things slow, don't be one of those couples who come into swinging like a shooting star and then flame out in two months time. Slow and steady will get you where you want to go on your swinging journey.

Swinging requires love, trust and communication. I love her more than I could ever love swinging. I trust that she is always coming home with me. We talk about EVERYTHING so that there are no misunderstandings and we are always on the same page. If she (or I) ever wanted to stop (and I've said this numerous times before), I would with no regrets. This has been a great adventure but it was an adventure that the two of us started together and, if the time comes, will end together. I would rather be able to look back on this as a wonderful time with her than continue this without her. If you are not POSITIVE of all of the above, then you are not ready to go here yet.

I agree with GoldCoCouple but I like to add it is a two way process, the love is deeper now we share these experiences.

As for your question: it is not easy to close the door again, but it is possible. Especially for the love of the one who wants to stop.

We have experienced that in a way: we stopped playing together as MsDiscover stopped playing and only dates vertically since then. I keep playing solo although I certainly enjoy it less than playing as a couple. For me seeing her having fun was the ultimate feeling. But of course I respect her decision and now we share the experiences by telling everything after coming home again.

And if at some point she would not be okay anymore with me playing at all, then that would be the the end of the road.