Curious how you guys find real couples?

We are new to this site. I have found finding real swingers in our area very hard. We currently live in VA but are moving to TN soon. We are into the lifestyle of sharing her or swinging. We however have only had a few events where we felt good about doing things. We find it hard to find people. Do you guys have any advice for us?

My advice, keep trying. After you make that initial breakthrough and find the people who can hook you up with their network, you'll be very busy.

WELCOME to Swingersboard.

Welcome! I hope you can share some stories with us.

Finding people to play with is something that a lot of new swingers don't think about. Discussions are about whether the couple is ready to do this, assuming doing it will be the easy part. Then the frustration sets in. I wonder how many potential swingers just give up when they start the hunt.

My advise is to be patient. Meet people with no expectations and you will be less irritated when nothing pans out. Use a lot of outlets like swinger sites like SLS and attend some meet and greets. There are people out there for you but you have to do some mining.

sharingher2049, welcome to SwingersBoard!

I agree with the advice you've gotten so far. Are you on any of the lifestyle "dating" sites, like SLS, SDC, SZC, Kasidie, APG, or Quiver? It seems like different sites are more popular with people in different regions, but it also doesn't hurt to be on more than one site.

Are you not getting the kind of response from your profile online that you're hoping for? If that's the case, you can ask people here to review your profile and offer helpful feedback.

Are you using whatever site(s) you are on to look for meet and greets or groups in your area?

Are there any lifestyle clubs near you?

Remember who hard it was for you two to find each other. Now try and find four people who all feel on the same page. Not easy to do...if fact it will seem almost like it is impossible. But if you put the work in and stick with it, the rewards can be just as great as the difficulty it took to find another couple in the first place. Stick with it (but let it happen, don't obsess) and it will happen. Try clubs and meet-n-greets to help set up a network and it will happen. Good luck!

from Oklahoma, Sharingher! I hope y'all find answers here.

I was fortunate enough to have a wife with degrees in both Communication and Psychology. She had done research on body language, her favorite subject. She had an uncanny way of zeroing in on likely couples, asking her favorite question,"How do y'all feel about..." any number of subjects and eventually settling on "swinging" if she had gotten favorable answers.

She only pissed off one couple (mostly the wife) whom we met at a hotel swimming pool in Amarillo, Texas. She later admitted that she should not have asked, "How do y'all feel about swinging?" She only did so because we were unlikely to ever see them again. She was right; we didn't.

Finding partners, in our experience, requires getting to know them... and communicating with them.

Laura also felt that it was important that the wife ask the questions. Women are less of a sexual threat to most people.

Agreed. It is extremely difficult. We approach it with a quality over quantity mentality (which in and of itself makes it more difficult). Meeting more people obviously helps as well but in our case we've had time and personal obstacles. Eh, it's a journey!

MrMarvin

I agree with those who suggest a lifestyle meeting site like SLS. Find out which one(s) are popular in your new area.

You could go the nearest swing club. I understand that this may be difficult in a rural area.

Finally, if you have the money, go to Hedo 2 or Desire.

Are you looking for quality (ie: FWB) or quantity? Quantity should be fairly easy to find (nothing wrong with those who are looking for this), find the nearest club or house party and attend. Quality is harder since what you are looking for is harder. Be patient and keep looking and (eventually) it will happen. In the mean time, meeting new people, getting out, having 'sexy' fun imagining what you hope will happen, having open conversations with your SO...all really good things. Don't always focus on the goal, sometimes the trip can be just as much fun...