Jump to content
Ticketyboo

Should we consider Soft Swing?

Recommended Posts

Hi,

 

Apologies if these questions have been raised in the past but we are newbies here and require any feedback if possible.

 

My husband and I, although we have had many FFM as I am very bi and it has been a wonderful experience for my husband and still is, my husband has suggested we should maybe involve a couple (MF) for mutual fun, but no penetration whatsoever. Hence, one of the reasons we registered with this site was to gather information on this subject which we have found out is quite popular also rather than full swing.

 

On this topic can you please help us as to what is involved, are boundaries made beforehand, do you have to go to clubs or houses or indeed meet through such sites as this one? Is soft swing popular? We once went to a nudist colony beach and there were lots of couples who were actually caressing and cuddling one another in each others company and to be honest it was quite a turn-on for us and we wondered then if this would be a start as to join a nudist club or indeed if this divine site would be a place to start?

 

Thank you for reading and we hope to have some replies. Kind Regards Andrena and Gus.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

There are lots of people in the lifestyle that are only interested in soft swap so it is something you should be able to find fairly easily!

 

If you go the online route I suggest you make it clear on your profile that it is all you are looking for. That way people that are also interested in just soft swap will know you are on the same page. Regardless of which route you choose to look for others always be up front with it right from the get go to avoid confusion when it comes to play time.

 

If you don't mind me asking just curious if your husband penetrated the other women you have had threesomes with? If he has why are you two not interested in full swap with another couple? Not trying to judge. Just something I have always found confusing.

Share this post


Link to post

Andrena and Gus, thanks for your question. Don't worry if a question like this might have been asked before- everybody's situation is different, and we love talking about swinging here!

 

So, in your FFM threesomes, can we assume that your husband has not had intercourse with the other woman?

 

By the time you are getting to the point of being ready to play with a couple, you should definitely discuss your boundaries and limits with them. Actually, you should make it clear in your profile on any swinger a Web sites you belongs o that you are only interested in soft swap. There are many people, maybe most, in the lifestyle who are mainly about full swap, but there are plenty who can enjoy soft swap also, or who are themselves soft swap only. The main thing is to make this clear, to make sure the other couple does not assume that you are interested in full swap.

 

I'm not sure what sites are popular in the UK, but I'm sure there are swinger sites that are made for helping like-amended lifestyle people to find each other. In the States, sites like SLS, SDC, and Kasidie are popular. SwingersBoard here is more about a community for discussion than it is about finding people to play with, but feel free to post in the Personals section if you like!

 

So, about nudist venues... There is an ethic among the naturist/nudist community that strongly discourages public sexual activity or public displays of affection- after all, there are sometimes kids around. In fact, I'm surprised to hear that you saw people making out or engaging in PDAs at a nudist beach. So, all that said... You may find out that some nudist resorts have a significant swinger community. Just one example is a place that is a few hours away from us, called Sunnyrest. It is a pure nudist place as far as the public areas are concerned, but we were told that the resort has about 75% swingers as members! Still just that the sexy activity all takes place in an adults-only setting (making out in the disco one evening) or in private (fun play time in our friends' room).

 

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask more questions!

Share this post


Link to post

Hello,

 

Firstly, thankyou so much for your responses - very kind - Firstly Couple MD7, Good question regarding nudist beach we visited - it was actually in Phuket in Thailand - there were no children allowed in which thats why we visited - Adults only - However, the Beach was part of a Hotel group where it was private and out of bounds too local people.

 

The next two quesions from Couple MD and Enhancer - Wow - Fantastic questions but, let me explain (Andrena)too the below. Ever since I met my Husband many years ago I was always attracted to the female sex. I have had many lesbian relationships before I met Gus. However, I realised in my late teens I became attracted to Gus and as time grew on we married and had two lovely kids of which we are now proud grandparents. Myself 57 and Gus 56. When we became an item Gus knew about my sexual tendancies towards women hence we decided before we married I would still be involved in my Bisexual side which Gus approved. Now too many that must be a guy's perfect relationship- having a lesbian wife to which yes it was as Gus not only approved but I in return got him involved in threesomes with my lady friends and too this day I still do.

 

To answer your questions it is me solely who does not want penetrated by another guy too which my Gus also wishes. However, we just want to experience a new chapter in our lifes as we grow mature. Lets have fun and experience couples who wish to divulge in conversation, socialising and consensual mutual touching and caressing and indeed making each one happy without full intercourse. Does this now make sense?

 

Kind Regards Gus And Andena xx

 

"If you don't mind me asking just curious if your husband penetrated the other women you have had threesomes with? If he has why are you two not interested in full swap with another couple? Not trying to judge. Just something I have always found confusing."

 

"So, in your FFM threesomes, can we assume that your husband has not had intercourse with the other woman?"

 

xxxx

Share this post


Link to post

So by saying you are lesbian does that mean you are not attracted to men? If you are not attracted to men why would you want to play with them?

 

I totally understand the bi sexual thing, because Ms Enhancer is a bi woman that is just as attracted to women as she is men, but I always assumed a lesbian was supposed to mean only attracted to women!

 

These label things always confuse the hell out of me!

Share this post


Link to post

I initially thoughT I was a lesbian but I fell in love with Gus - my hormones all over the place those many years ago - however I kept my Bi sexual side and still do - I am attracted to my husband but wish too extend the thought of indulging in soft swing as is my husbands wish but, with no physical penetration - just simply having fun - why not?

Share this post


Link to post

My GF and I are softies. We do just about everything else: massage, girl-girl, oral, body piles and have even done some light guy-guy stuff. That said, we usually show up to parties and clubs with rubbers, just in case we encounter a couple that really clicks with both of us and we click with them. But ultimately full swap is not what we're looking for.

 

We are up front about what we're into in our online profiles, and say as much to people we meet at lifestyle events. Most are okay one way or another, some couples push...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

When we first started swinging we thought we would be soft swingers, and if I recall correctly, even advertised ourselves as such at the beginning. It didn't take us long to move to full swap, in fact by the time of our first real experience we were full swap, but that's neither here nor there really...what worked best for us doesn't mean it will work best for anyone else. What is relevant is that we had no problem breaking into swinging while being a soft swap couple. Like someone mentioned above, I think all of the personals sites allow you to specify that on your profile, so that gets it right out front for everyone.

 

Based on just a gut feeling, I would agree that the majority of swinging couples are full swap, but I have no idea what the percentage actually is: 50.1% or 65% or ?? It stands to reason that the fewer swingers there are in the same group as you, it is going to make finding compatible ones more difficult. That is what it is though, you shouldn't change your boundaries or strike zone because of it, it just means you may have to be a little more patient in your search.

 

Lots of successful couples swing soft, so if that is what interests you, then go for it!

Share this post


Link to post

Finding other couples is just SO MUCH EASIER than finding another single bi-sexual female (they are called unicorns for a reason...they are just about as rare). Boundaries should be decided between the two of you before hand and should be readdressed on an ongoing basis (as they will change as you go along). As already said, generally you put your limits, interests, and to a limited extent your rules in your profile (if you choose to go that route). Otherwise if you do the club/house party route you just talk about that before you go any further. Soft swap is very popular...most couples start here since they are usually uncertain how far to go. Finding other soft sway couples shouldn't be very difficult. As for nudists: most swingers are nudists (but not all) but not all nudists are swingers (although may are). If you are looking for other swinger couples, you are probably best to look where other swingers are...it just makes it easier. If you are fishing for bass, it's best to fish in a pond you know has bass instead of just casting a line out into the closest body of water (stream/river/lake/ocean/whatever). It just increases the odds of success.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...