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Caseys2015

Wanting to know a little more about swinging

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Hello, I am very new to swinging. I have had one threesome with a friend and her husband a few years back. And my bf now has asked me about swinging or having a threesome. We have been together for almost three years. I am older than him but that shouldn't make a difference. But anyway, my questions are, when your bf asks that question does it necessarily mean he's not attracted to you anymore? Or that he is bored with our sex life?

 

He asked about a threesome first then the swinging question came into question. Or maybe he just wants a different as I put it, a different pussy. Sorry if that doesn't sound too nice but I couldn't find a better way. Saying twat vagina just doesn't sound too good lol.

 

So anyways, I would love to hear from couples who have had a lot of experience in swinging and maybe threesomes too if possible. My experience with a threesome type activity with my friend's husband was her just watching basically having sex with her husband. So I'm assuming that fits in the threesome category. I could be wrong. But any information for me would be greatly appreciated and any questions of any kind to me is greatly appreciated too. lol

 

Hope I learn a lot, thanks so much.

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Swinging brings with it some powerful things, and I think that extra caution is needed when swinging is introduced into fairly young relationships. That's not to say that one should automatically rule out swinging unless you've been together 20 years or whatever, but just that extra care needs to be taken. If you two have a good sex life together, then I wouldn't take him bringing it up as he's not happy with the sex. If either one of you aren't satisfied or happy with any part of the relationship though, sex or anything else, then I would say to put the swinging on hold until you get those issues ironed out. Swinging is a magnifier, it just takes whatever is there and makes it larger, and if there are already cracks there, it will find them and make them bigger.

 

We play with other couples, so I don't really have a lot to offer you in terms of direct experience with threesomes. Is he interested in MFM, FMF, or both? Many people who like threesomes like them because they can be easier to set up. It's often easier to find three people with compatibility all the way around than it is to find four people with compatibility all of the way around. So threesomes may be a good way to go for you.

 

What do YOU want? What are you hoping to get out of swinging? What fantasies or sexual needs are you hoping to fulfill? Those are all things I would be asking myself and making part of the conversation with him. Swinging successfully absolutely requires it to be a two way street, both have to be involved and on board or else it just won't work, or not for long.

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First, WELCOME to the Swingersboard. It's great that you joined us here.

 

The best first step is for the two of you to talk about what it is your looking for out of your adventures into non-monogamy generally, and what your concerns are. As a woman, all I can say is that I loved my husband all the more for letting me play with others, both men and women. It's my belief that people just naturally want a loving spouse and secure home, but also the freedom to explore our sexually. Let us know how it goes and best of luck in your journey. You will enjoy your adventures.

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I think most of the questions you ask can best be answered by your boyfriend, CaseyS. Most couples do not seek the swinging lifestyle because they're bored at home but because they are looking for some of the excitement they experienced when they were single. My late wife and I covered some of the reasons we chose to swing in the early part of our book. You can read that part for free by clicking on the link at the bottom of this post. Then click on the book cover and read a free sample.

 

The key to what you look for, in my opinion, is the ability to communicate with each other. I wish y'all good fortune in your quest for understanding!

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First of all, your relationship MUST be rock solid. You need to have great communication, trust and love. Second, YOU need to be interested in doing this. If you do it for him thinking that I'll do it just this one time and he'll be satisfied you'll most likely be wrong (taking one for the team variation). Finally to your question: there are two kind of guys in the world, those who fantasize about having a threesome with another girl and those who won't admit to fantasizing about a threesome (ok, so there may be some men who don't, but they are a minority IMHO). This is something that most guys would love to experience...it doesn't necessarily mean that he's looking for something else (key word is necessarily). But if you aren't interested in this, don't do it. It can seriously damage or destroy a relationship. Swinging is a team sport, if you aren't both playing together, you can easily find that you are playing alone.

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