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sands2016

Newbie questions about activities during play

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My fiancée and I are considering trying swinging. We currently have a great sex life but I would like to explore the lifestyle, and think that she would enjoy it as she is a very sexual person, especially once she becomes aroused. She has been open to fetishes that I have introduced her to, and can honestly say she has found them enjoyable and we include those in our sessions. Personally, my experience with the swinging lifestyle has been limited to discussions with swingers I have met in the past which typically focused on "big picture" discussions not the intimate details. I am now looking to fill in those details and ask for your assistance given your experiences. BTW, we are both straight.

In discussing swinging with her, I have mentioned that we would certainly take small steps into the lifestyle and start with only soft swinging. I have told her that could involve simple fondling or mutual masturbation. Am I correct in saying that? Personally, I would be happy with the aforementioned as long as there is a happy ending.

While she says that see can easily see herself being pleasured by someone new, she is a bit skeptical as to what sort of fulfillment the typical male partner would seek. Again, we would not seek to have intercourse. Her thought on her offering oral sex is that she feels as though she would need an emotional bond, of some sort, before feeling comfortable. I am still at the fondling and mutual masturbation level and have stressed that. My experience with different fetish groups has shown me that each person has a different level/requirement before obtaining satisfaction (physically or mentally). I would assume that is similar in the swinging community... some people are happy with simple things while others need the whole enchilada (forgive the cliche).

Again my two questions are:

#1 What activities does a pair typically engage in during a soft swap?

#2 Would a male partner be simply willing to be masturbated or fondled by a female partner .

 

Thanks in advance.

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Ello, sands2016, and welcome to SwingersBoard! Feel free to poke around the site- it's chock full of great information, and the people here are friendly, open and knowledgeable.

 

Now for your questions.

 

Soft swap can mean anything short of intercourse, and more than simply having sex in the same room as others without touching. We have been in soft swap situations where there was a tiny bit of boob fondling and assorted skin stroking while we and the other couple had sex with our own partners, and also situations where we and the other couple were performing oral on other partner, masutrbating them, 69'ing with them, etc. So if you want to stop anywhere short of the full range of soft swap activity, you'll want to discuss limits with your potential play partners before you get into the heat of the action!

 

I think there are plenty of guys who would very much enjoy soft swap within the limits you described. As long as those limits are discussed in advance, everybody knows what they're in for and can opt in or out as they desire.

 

BTW, your wife's desire for some kind of bond is not at all unusual, if I understand you correctly. If she's looking to have some nominal connection and attraction before going down on another guy, she is right in line with most of the people we know in the lifestyle. In our case, we rarely go for the anonymous, don't-need-to-know-your-name kind of hookup. We like to be friends with our clothes on before we get naked! Now if your wife is looking for more than a seed of friendship, chemistry, and mutual attraction, if she wants to have something more like a romantic feeling for the other person, that is another matter and possibly more difficult to find.

 

How are you two going about looking for couples to play with?

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Hi! First of all: welcome to the board, and thank you for your introduction!

 

:Welcome:

 

I don't think what the average activities are for folks in the lifestyle would help you much since it is all up to your own preferences and your new bed partner(s). Just find a common ground in what everyone is comfortable with and just don't move your boundaries just to find a new play partner.

 

So, for what it is worth, these are our experiences: our first three dates were only soft swap with a couple, and activities included: me giving the other lady oral and vice verse, the other man giving oral to my girl. Massaging each other. Shower with the other partner. Things we didn't do much or at all: intercourse with the other partners, kissing, my girl giving oral, anal play, playing in separate rooms.

 

In our case, on these dates your #2 question applies to the connection of my girl and the other man. She didn't gave oral or intercourse, or kissing. Only touching, stroking his dick, fondling. And everyone was ok with that.

 

If you need more examples, I can recommend the sections First Swinging Experiences and Adventures in Swinging. Those are real experiences from real couples. But again: it's all examples, what you are willing to do is up to you.

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Men do not, generally, give women sufficient credit for their feelings and desires. Just a gut reaction, after my first reading of your introductory post (much appreciated), is to invite her to read what we have at this Web site. Her reaction might surprise you -- pleasantly, I mean. She might just be interested in more than fondling.

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My fiancée and I are considering trying swinging. We currently have a great sex life but I would like to explore the lifestyle, and think that she would enjoy it as she is a very sexual person, especially once she becomes aroused. She has been open to fetishes that I have introduced her to, and can honestly say she has found them enjoyable and we include those in our sessions. Personally, my experience with the swinging lifestyle has been limited to discussions with swingers I have met in the past which typically focused on "big picture" discussions not the intimate details. I am now looking to fill in those details and ask for your assistance given your experiences. BTW, we are both straight.

In discussing swinging with her, I have mentioned that we would certainly take small steps into the lifestyle and start with only soft swinging. I have told her that could involve simple fondling or mutual masturbation. Am I correct in saying that? Personally, I would be happy with the aforementioned as long as there is a happy ending.

While she says that see can easily see herself being pleasured by someone new, she is a bit skeptical as to what sort of fulfillment the typical male partner would seek. Again, we would not seek to have intercourse. Her thought on her offering oral sex is that she feels as though she would need an emotional bond, of some sort, before feeling comfortable. I am still at the fondling and mutual masturbation level and have stressed that. My experience with different fetish groups has shown me that each person has a different level/requirement before obtaining satisfaction (physically or mentally). I would assume that is similar in the swinging community... some people are happy with simple things while others need the whole enchilada (forgive the cliche).

Again my two questions are:

#1 What activities does a pair typically engage in during a soft swap?

#2 Would a male partner be simply willing to be masturbated or fondled by a female partner .

 

Thanks in advance.

 

Being new to the LS I would be more than happy to meet condition number 2 you set out. To me the sex is fun but there can be so much more than the sex involved... And no I'm not talking about love or emotions. It is a start. We all have to start somewhere and I would expect myself to happily respect all of your limits. If you truly decide you want more after starting then so be it... I just still might want to make sure you won't regret your decision later.

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Hello and welcome to the Swingersboard. You have been given good advice above. All that I can add is take it slowly, one step at a time, discuss, evaluate, adjust, and enjoy each and every step along the way.

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I would add there is not any kind of TIME LIMIT, There is NOT a SCHEDULE and you don't get frequent flier miles for it. If it takes 10 years - who cares. I was told by another member on this board it took them 2 years to actually start swinging.

 

Again welcome the board, do the exploration of this board, your attitude towards swinging and other activities, and how she feels and know there is no wrong answer, only YOUR answer.

 

And above all have fun. That is why you are here!

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Soft swap can mean anything short of intercourse, and more than simply having sex in the same room as others without touching. We have been in soft swap situations where there was a tiny bit of boob fondling and assorted skin stroking while we and the other couple had sex with our own partners, and also situations where we and the other couple were performing oral on other partner, masutrbating them, 69'ing with them, etc. So if you want to stop anywhere short of the full range of soft swap activity, you'll want to discuss limits with your potential play partners before you get into the heat of the action!

 

It's your life your get to choose the rules! Of course the tighter the rules the less the selection but hey who knows how sexy you guys are!!!

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