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Found a guy for our possible MFM threesom, how to handle our first meeting?

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We've talked a lot about what we want to do and decided that besides having same room sex, we want to have threesomes for now to get comfortable with the idea of maybe later swapping with couples. We've had no luck with finding another female or a couple that is ok with just the ladies playing so we started looking for a male especially since this is hubby's fantasy to share me with another man. We found two that I find attractive and hubby plans to call them and see which one he feels better about.

 

This is where I'd like the advice from everyone here. We were speaking of if we decide to meet him for drinks should we just have drinks to meet him and then come home and talk about if were both comfortable/like him or go ahead that night if all goes well and see if he wants to go to a hotel? I know everyone has had different experiences since all our relationships are different but is one idea better then the other in the long run?

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Everyone involved has always agreed in advance on a no sex meet and greet for lunch, supper, drinks, bowling or whatever. There have been times when I was o.k. with him but she needed time to think about it and reverse and there have been times where she didn't need time to think about it and was ready to go. Right now, in his motel room.

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. . . should we just have drinks to meet him and then come home and talk about if were both comfortable/like him or go ahead that night if all goes well and see if he wants to go to a hotel. . .
I'm not going to answer your question in a direct manner. I will simply lend some advice gained from the experience that my wife and I have gained from meeting couples (no so much different from meeting a single man). You should develop a signaling system; tugging on an ear, pretending to get a text message from the baby sitter, raising an eyebrow and winking, kicking each other's legs under the table -- two kicks from your wife means, "he's a creep, I'm not going to let him touch me"; two kicks from you, "he's a caveman and I will will not let him touch you"; one kick meaning, "he's cute, I want him inside of me."

 

Just don't anybody go too heavy on the drinks. Alcohol skews judgement. Alcohol makes the second male in the MFM have a limp dick.

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We always have the plan of meeting, then together deciding if we want to connect further. We have though on occasion, just went for it. It's been our experience that the guy actually seems to need the time to reflect and get his head into the situation more than we do. A majority of the 'spur of the moment' events have resulted in poor performance from the guy. That can shut down a relationship because he now has this shitty performance in his head so if we do try again, he's a basket case and worse than the first time. My advise is to be patient, even if it looks like all systems are go. The guy won't tell you he needs time to get ready for this, he doesn't know, until it's too late.

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This is where I'd like the advice from everyone here. We were speaking of if we decide to meet him for drinks should we just have drinks to meet him and then come home and talk about if were both comfortable/like him or go ahead that night if all goes well and see if he wants to go to a hotel. I know everyone has had different experiences since all our relationships are different but is one idea better then the other in the long run?

 

It is a good idea to get together for a no sex, get to know each other, encounter first. There is nothing wrong with having a good time then going back home to talk about it. One or both of you might not be interested for whatever reason.

 

If everybody is getting along great then race to the nearest motel!

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Thanks for all the responses. One of the guys is married and a cheater so we decided not to go ahead with him. We may meet next weekend with the other one and see how it goes.

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I think your decision to avoid the cheater was a wise one. From what I've read here, all that can possibly lead to is drama, drama, drama. Plus, being married myself, I think cheating is awful behavior.

 

We tend to be on the no-pressure drinks side of the argument. It seems to be a bit less awkward for us, as there are fewer expectations going into the meeting.

 

Here's hoping you meet with the other guy! If you do, come back and update! I love hearing how other people's experiences go.

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As a single guy who has played with a number of couples, I think that what you should do on a first meet, is to get to know each other.....but be open to the OPTION of carrying it further. One of my best times was with a couple I had not met before. We met at the local zoo (of all places) and walked around talking and assessing our level of attraction. Both husband and wife liked what they saw, and so did I, so we moved to a local motel and had a great time. I agree that you should get to know each other first...but don't limit yourself.

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Also, a word to the wise. Crowded, noisy places are bad choices for a first meet and greet. I did one in a local bar during happy hour, and it went poorly, because we couldn't really talk a lot, without shouting. The zoo was kind of weird, but it turned out great. We walked in the sunshine, laughed at the animals and tourists, and were able to converse with little or no interference.

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Another single guy piping in here...

 

So, never, ever fuck on the first meeting... ever... never... ever... never never never. The potential for buyer's remorse is just too high. Give yourself time to consider everything and discuss with your mate in the privacy and comfort of your home where you have the ability to be open and honest and not guess about the other's feelings and thoughts. And what the heck is the rush? Anticipation is an awesome aphrodisiac! Have I ever fucked on a first meeting? Yes! Was it hot? Absolutely! Bad idea? Totally! But she practically ripped my clothes off... :)

 

Also, as a single guy, the pressure is absolutely enormous in that situation. The is a huge potential to be unable to perform. I find the conversation is so much more easy and free when I know nothing is going to happen that nite. We literally can talk about anything and there is no rush. And I find I tend to be much more attentive and LISTEN to what is being said, which is paramount IMHO. Speaking of which, since you are considering your first MFM, make sure you fully consider and discuss in explicit detail all of your expectations, do's, dont's, and MOST importantly... BOUNDARIES! They are always the first things I ask about. And don't be afraid to get down and dirty. Discuss oral, anal, spanking, choking, hair pulling, bi/straight, facials, swallowing, rimming, cream pies, condom vs. bareback, kissing, cuddling, watching vs. threesome, photos and/or videos, one and done vs. sleepover, one night stand vs. fwb, toys, bondage, Dom/Sub, cuckholding, dp, dv, body fluids, pain play, soft or full swap, etc. It is much better to be up front and potentially scare a playmate off, than it is to get an uncovered dick shoved in your ass when that is one of your all time no-no's! And make sure the guy understands that he is there to augment you and hubby's fun... not replace it. Unless your are into cuckholding... which is a different forum discussion!

 

Go slow, be communicative and open, and have fun! :)

 

GaSH

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