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Wayne&Gwen

Advice for getting started swinging in your mid to late 50's?

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Gwen swapped a few times with her first husband. She had a few flings once she found out her first husband was having affairs. I have no experience in the lifestyle.

 

We have talked about spicing things up for a few years now.....but talking about it and taking that first big step are two different things. The bridge between the two is much wider than we thought. I (Wayne) seemed to be interested in it a bit more than Gwen.

 

We have taken advice of sites like this and others and have avoided craigslist. We had a profile at a popular swingers site, and did get a few inquires from people in our general area, but never went further than a few emails

 

So how do you make that first big step to actually "doing it"? Gwen is having a bit of a body issue. We all get older and gravity does it thing, but that's the way life is. I try to tell her not everyone who swings is barbie and ken...and I don't have the body of a porn star by any means. I try to tell her enjoy what you got.

 

We have talked about our "vanilla friends" and it seems when Gwen finds the husband someone she would consider if the right situation occurred, to me the wife is not someone I would consider...and of course when I find the wife a bit interesting she finds her husband a bore. Not that we would approach any of our vanilla friends, we would like to keep vanilla friends very separate from swinging friends.

 

Just wondering if anyone (who started later in life like us) has advice. Would like to stick with people close to our age (50's to early 60's). We are casual people and don't see ourselves in the hip club scene or high brow wine and cheese crowd.

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First, I would strongly suggest avoiding friends. While others have had success with friends, you run a very good chance of losing them no matter how things turn out.

 

Second, don't spend too much time with emails. If you find a couple that you seem to align with, MEET THEM! What we do is make sure that everyone knows that this is for a meeting ONLY. Nothing else is going to happen other than we are all meeting for dinner (or whatever) and to talk. You will know if you are interested in 5 minutes of meeting than a lifetime of emails. If nothing else, you will most likely have a nice dinner, met some new people, and learned more about what you are looking at getting into.

 

Third, this can HELP with body issues. The people who want to meet you most likely have seen pictures of the two of you and STILL WANT TO MEET YOU. We all understand that as we get 'more experienced' (never older) we are not as perfect as we once were...but at the same time, there are others that are not interested in perfection. Real women have curves and that is sexy! Ms. Gold, once we started down this path, also realized this and while she isn't where she would like to be (body wise), she now knows that others find her desirable. This got her to start walking at lunch and watching more of what she eats because she is enjoying the attention (even though I still think she is perfect just how she is). BTW, I tired to look up your SLS profile and find more about you two but got nothing.

 

Finally, there are MANY different 'levels' of swinging. You DON'T have to jump into the deep end. Start off with meeting other couples...maybe trying same room sex and/or moving on to a house party (this is exactly what we did). You can take it slow (and we recommend that you do just that). Looking at where you live, you should have a large pool of people to choose from and while it is never easy to find two other people that you both feel good about, it IS possible. Set your limits, take your time, take OFF the pressure (there is really no rush here), and enjoy the adventure. Write some emails to others and make some new friends. Neither of us are into the club scene or high brow ourselves and we have found others that are just the same as we are. Remember, this is a hobby and supposed to be fun. If it isn't either, then find something else that you enjoy and do that.

 

Let us know if there is anything else we can do to help and keep us apprised as to how you two are doing. Good luck!

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My wife and I launched ourselves into swingery while in our mid fifties. We consider ourselves to be very successful. But it was, nonetheless, a full year before we had our first two-on-two encounter. The people who were our first encouraged us to become members of a nearby swingers' club. This gave our rate for meeting people a big boost. You have to believe me on this: swingers' clubs vary quite a bit in charter but the typical club has people of _all_ sizes, shapes and degrees of maturity. You are not likely to feel out of place.

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I have seen people in your age range on the swinger websites. A handful of the people at the club's are within your range as well. There are couples younger than yourselves that will swap with people your age. We are one of those couples.

Most couples are looking to get people as hot or hotter than themselves. Even if you won't admit it, looks play a big part in this lifestyle. My wife and I however don't put much emphasis on looks. We value chemistry far more, so are willing to stray outside the usual range people have. We look for passion, regardless of age or looks. I'd rather have a great time with a 5 than a mediocre time with a 7. This isn't high school where you brag about the hot one you banged. Point is out yourself out there on the web sites and club's. You will likely find some matches. Charm, being sincere and respectful go a long way. And you wouldn't want to waste your time on couple for whom those things aren't important

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W&G,

Don't let the age and body shapes get you down! Hang your bits out there with the best pictures recently available but don't lie about the size/shapes.

 

I can only speak for my experiences in the Bible belt region, that I have hung at the more laid back of the two local clubs in Middle TN (The Social Club -more blue collar versus Menages more upper class).

Most people do enjoy the company versus the looks. A couple rated a 5 in looks could be a sexy 10 in attitude...

 

We have a single lady swinging friend who is a 6' tall African American woman (size and weight unspecified) who is the sexy "life of the party" even though she is a classic BBW- Big Beautiful Woman. It also helps that I personally like larger women and the Southeast region is the epicenter for that type of body shape!

 

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Hello, Wayne and Gwen!

 

Like you (and apparently many others), we started our lifestyle journey in our 50s. We've been at it for about a year, and we're having a great time!

 

You're right that finding a four-way match is tough. But I'm confident that it can happen for you. If you are able to meet a lot of people, you'll find people that you click with along the way. We have had dinner with a lot of couples, and also met many people through a wine group in our area on SLS (they are not a hoity-touty crowd! Wine, cheese, blue jeans, and flirting!). And we've played with some of these people! We do try to find profiles we like, but we also reserve judgement until we spend some time with a couple in person. And even if we don't find a match for playing, we've gotten something to eat!

 

The Mrs. started out with some body image issues as well (and, truth be told, maybe I did a little bit, too!). It's natural to be concerned about whether your looks will measure up. And what we're finding is that there really are people of many shapes, sizes, ages, and colors in the lifestyle, who are comfortable in their own skins and having plenty of hot sex! If you look at SLS profile pictures of others in your age range, you will likely find plenty of non-Barbie types, and they are having fun by owning what they've got and acting sexy. I will tell you that some of the hottest lifestyle encounters we've had have been with real people who did not have model bodies, but who exuded sexiness!

 

Here's a thought. If this option is available to you, what if you two made a visit to a nudist resort some Saturday? I'm suggesting this not for swinging purposes, but to give you two a chance to get comfortable with others seeing you naked. Then you could get a firsthand look at some fifty-something couples, and witness firsthand some examples of people being comfortable with their bodies.

 

By the way, I also tried to take a peek at your profile, but was not able to access it. Have you blocked it from viewing by other members? We'd love to have a look and read your profile!

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Beauty is only skin deep, but confidence and sexiness comes from the core and what you look like doesn't matter.

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Hello, Wayne and Gwen!

 

Like you (and apparently many others), we started our lifestyle journey in our 50s. We've been at it for about a year, and we're having a great time!

 

You're right that finding a four-way match is tough. But I'm confident that it can happen for you. If you are able to meet a lot of people, you'll find people that you click with along the way. We have had dinner with a lot of couples, and also met many people through a wine group in our area on SLS (they are not a hoity-touty crowd! Wine, cheese, blue jeans, and flirting!). And we've played with some of these people! We do try to find profiles we like, but we also reserve judgement until we spend some time with a couple in person. And even if we don't find a match for playing, we've gotten something to eat!

 

The Mrs. started out with some body image issues as well (and, truth be told, maybe I did a little bit, too!). It's natural to be concerned about whether your looks will measure up. And what we're finding is that there really are people of many shapes, sizes, ages, and colors in the lifestyle, who are comfortable in their own skins and having plenty of hot sex! If you look at SLS profile pictures of others in your age range, you will likely find plenty of non-Barbie types, and they are having fun by owning what they've got and acting sexy. I will tell you that some of the hottest lifestyle encounters we've had have been with real people who did not have model bodies, but who exuded sexiness!

 

Here's a thought. If this option is available to you, what if you two made a visit to a nudist resort some Saturday? I'm suggesting this not for swinging purposes, but to give you two a chance to get comfortable with others seeing you naked. Then you could get a firsthand look at some fifty-something couples, and witness firsthand some examples of people being comfortable with their bodies.

 

By the way, I also tried to take a peek at your profile, but was not able to access it. Have you blocked it from viewing by other members? We'd love to have a look and read your profile!

 

Thanks for the advice. Not sure why you couldn't see our profile, will have to double check the settings.

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