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lightskinguy44

Want to share my wife - kinda nervous, help!

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Okay I'm 21 and my gf is 21. Lately when we have sex, she sucks a dildo at the same time...it really turns me on to watch her suck it whIle I fuck her...but I'm scared to let her suck another man's dick because I'm kinda insecure and jealous at times...but the thought of watching her suck another dick gets me hard....any thoughts or suggestions or good/bad experience with sharing gf/wife? I'm only scared that afterwards she'll want the other guy more or if he will try to contact her..just don't want it to backfire. Help!

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First of all, welcome to the board.

 

Second, this most likely should have been posted in Situational Help but I'll respond here.

 

Third, you're not ready. You need to do some reading in Curious About Swinging and then start working on communication with your girlfriend. Instead of talking with us, you need to talk with her and if you don't feel like you can talk to her yet, you need to work more on your communication with her. The two of you need a very devoted, trusting relationship to be able to go forward. Start reading in order to get an idea as to what is needed and then consider what you want to do.

 

Still, welcome to the board and I hope that we can help you with where you want to go.

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Welcome.

 

Fantasies are sometimes best left as fantasies. If you are identifying that you have issues with insecurity and jealousy already, then now is not the time for swinging. Work on conquering those and then you can revisit the subject. Swinging is like fire, very useful and pleasant when used in the right situations, but introduce fire where it doesn't belong, and you are going to have something uncontrollable that consumes everything.

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Back away from the cliff until the two of you are both comfortable within the security of each other. Not only not good for your relationship, it is a bummer for those that engage in the Lifestyle. Just sayin'

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The feelings of jealousy could be so strong they rip you apart. This relationship has great potential but it needs time to mature and gain a lot of security. Having a guy there for real is way more intense and brings out a lot more feelings than thinking about it. We did this at your age and it was not cool. Now, after 35 years together, we can enjoy this stuff. But I know she is coming home with me now.

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Okay I'm 21 and my gf is 21. ...any thoughts or suggestions or good/bad experience with sharing gf/wife? I'm only scared that afterwards she'll want the other guy more or if he will try to contact her..just don't want it to backfire. Help!

 

First, is she your wife or girlfriend? How long have you been together? My opinion on moving forward is always against the majority - you should take a small step in the direction that you are contemplating (after discussing exactly what it is you want to do) - and try it. It is always possible that you two may not like it. Having had my own fears, as the wife, and taken a while to overcome them, I have concluded you have more to lose by not trying your (mutual) fantasies than by going ahead. It is like going on vacation, or to a play, or a restaurant. Have you ever gone on a holiday that was a disappointment, or a play that was terrible, or had a meal that was not so good? We all have, but that is part of the adventure, you adjust and move on, keep going on vacations, to the theater and to restaurants. Of course you have to be mature about it, discuss how you felt and never place blame. Good luck on your adventures.

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I agree with coupler. I would also like to add that I wish I had moved forward with some stuff at your age and didn't. It didn't matter anyway, I broke up with girl involved, etc.

 

I think you should first talk to her, see where she's at and take it from there. Obviously if she's not into it's kind of a mute point. The question then becomes how important is it to you?

 

Just remember there are no guarantee's in life and without risk there is no reward.

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... I would also like to add that I wish I had moved forward with some stuff at your age and didn't... mute [moot] point

 

Just remember there are no guarantee's in life and without risk there is no reward.

 

If it weren't for my husband taking the step of allowing me to do what I wanted (keep seeing my ex-fiance) at the age of 24, I would have missed everything I now have, including my wonderful poly family. I didn't start out bi or planning a non-monogamous marriage and neither did hubby, but he accepted me having a boyfriend without any promise of me letting him play. After I let him have a girlfriend, he happily accepted the same sex relationship I have with her. Unless you two explore, you don't know what is out there, what will fulfill your lives.

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Sexual experimentation is obviously much more common these days and even viewed differently than just a couple decades ago. You didn't go into much detail as to how involved your relationship is with this GF of yours. Are the two of you allowed to "date" other people or have you pretty much agreed to a monogamous relationship? Is this desire to see your GF more for your own gratification or to enhance her sexual pleasures as well? In general, the emotional (jealousy, envy, anger, etc) bullets you incur when you participate in cuckold activities is what "sharing" is all about. It elevates a couple's sexual stimulus to original or even higher levels. Unfortunately, some people don't handle the emotional bullets as positives, but as negatives, and it sounds as if you're one that currently would treat them as negatives. You guys are very young and in the infancy of your growing sexual curiosities, so involving others in your "play" is only logical. Still, until you're comfortable, if you really like this girl, I'd steer clear until you're more ready.

 

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My fantasy was to not just watch my wife getting fucked by another man but to watch her enjoying being fucked by another man and having an orgasm with him.

 

It took me a long time to talk my wife into letting another man have sex with her in front of me. She was afraid I would be angry with her and was worried about divorce. I told her many times that I expected her to enjoy it.

 

She finally let it happen but she was so nervous she kept her eyes closed the whole time and looked like she just wanted it to be over. I was disappointed. For both of us.

 

I talked her into trying it again. This time I held her hand as he fucked her. I could tell by the difference in the grip on my hand that she was beginning to relax. He wasn't waiting for her and I think that as he was cumming in her that she was starting to like it.

 

I talked her into trying a few different men thinking that maybe she just wasn't into the guys she was having sex with. She was relaxing more but it still looked like she wasn't into it and was just doing it to make me happy.

 

I wanted her to like it. To LOVE it! To ask for it. To invite a man back to our hotel room on her own.

 

I wanted her to be involved with picking out the guys but she wasn't interested in doing that. She wanted me to pick the guys for her.

 

I decided to go online and search for a man with really big cock. I thought that having sex with a man with a big cock would flip that switch. She didn't know I was doing this. After months of "interviews" I picked one "lucky guy".

 

She knew or had met the other guys. We had socialized with them at parties or at bars or reunions. This was the first man that I introduced her to that she had never met. She knew what I had in mind.

 

The big cock must have made the difference. It was the first time she had an orgasm just from fucking. After that she was hooked. She wanted him to fuck her again. She seemed distracted between their dates I guess from dreaming and waiting to be fucked by him again.

 

I didn't care. It was my fantasy come true. It was awesome watching her enjoying getting fucked by him. I was happy that she was happy.

 

Great sex causes great emotions and the more orgasms she had with him the deeper her feelings grew for him. She fell in love with him. She didn't love me less. She felt like she had two husbands.

 

He fell in love with her too. He loved the way she acted as he fucked her. She was willing to share but he wasn't and grew jealous of the time she spent with me.

 

There were months of tension but in the end she chose me and we are still married. She can now have sex with other men in front of me and enjoy it without falling in love. She seems to be only able to have orgasms with men with big cocks but she loves having sex with most of the men she lets between her legs. She has fun getting them to cum in her and I have fun watching all of it. Our love has grown deeper with every experience.

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...

 

Great sex causes great emotions and the more orgasms she had with him the deeper her feelings grew for him. She fell in love with him. She didn't love me less. She felt like she had two husbands.

 

He fell in love with her too. He loved the way she acted as he fucked her. She was willing to share but he wasn't and grew jealous of the time she spent with me.

 

There were months of tension but in the end she chose me and we are still married. She can now have sex with other men in front of me and enjoy it without falling in love. She seems to be only able to have orgasms with men with big cocks but she loves having sex with most of the men she lets between her legs. She has fun getting them to cum in her and I have fun watching all of it. Our love has grown deeper with every experience.

 

 

That is me exactly. We ended up going a different route, where we five are all in love and a poly family. One must learn not only how to share a spouse's body without jealousy so you both can enjoy it, but also how to share love without jealousy.

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One must learn not only how to share a spouse's body without jealousy so you both can enjoy it, but also how to share love without jealousy.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but do you mean that is in your view the best way to swing? If so, I don't think this a general rule, lots of people enjoy the LS much but don't want to share love. I also feel this is far far away from where lightskinguy & his girlfriend are.

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